Breaking the Silence

Hello sports fans. Sorry for my extended absence, but unlike the vast majority of people who write a sports blog, I actually have a real job that requires my attention. This update also heralds something of a new format. Instead of breaking down a ton of games (something that I have lost interest in, as how many times can I really say that X team is awesome/sucks and still make it hysterical?), I'm going to talk about a few subjects at a time, and give more in-depth thoughts. So, here comes the first one!

-The Minnesota Golden Gophers finally fired Tim Brewster, ending a few years of declining football. This will not lead to immediate great things however. They still ave to hire a new coach, and the current rumblings are... disturbing to say the least.

Two leading candidates? Dan "Wife Beatin" McCarney and Gary "Well, she was a bad kicker so it is ok that players raped her" Burnett.

We all like winning. It's in our nature. Would those coaches eventually help Minnesota win more games? Absolutely.

At what cost are Gopher fans willing to win? Hire a wife beater? Hire someone who ACTUALLY JUSTIFIED RAPE BY SAYING THAT SHE DESERVED FOR NOT BEING GOOD AT FOOTBALL? Hopefully, we don't have to find out.

Me, I would take a happy loser over a wretched excuse for a human who goes (it is Minnesota, so let me be realistic) 8-4 year in year out.

-On Florida's troubles:
Rumors are circulating that Urban "Squeaky Clean" Meyer has essentially retired. Some of these back up previous rumors that he came back after his retirement last year to only help the University save face (That is working well after that loss to Mississippi State at home). Now, as these are rumors, take them with a grain of salt.

That said, as no great fan of Urban Meyer, or Florida in general (circumcise America's wang), let me say just one thing:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Eat it, Urbz.

-My Heisman top 5:
1. University of Oregon
2. Denard Robinson
3. Ndamukong Suh (I am not joking about this, dammit)
4. Cam Newton
5. Les Miles

My BCS Top 5, if I were a BCS computer:

1. Oregon
2. Oklahoma
3. Oregon again
4. Alabama (If you think that their one loss, given the schedule they play, makes them a not top 5 team, you are bad and you should feel bad)
5. LSU (Voodoo beats skill, always)

Why the BCS isn't the worst thing in college football:

Hey Mid-Majors! If you really are just as good as the big boy teams, then NO! It is not too much to ask to go undefeated. None of you play anybody of note anyway! Oregon State? They just lost to Washington! Iowa State? I beat them like twice today!

Seriously though, here is the choice for Mid-Majors:

A) Go undefeated, play in a huge bowl game with a ton of money and exposure, as a result of finishing in the top 12

OR

B) Rely on the bowl coordinators to pick you, a smaller school with a much smaller fanbase, to pick you over, say... a 9-3 Texas team that will bring INFINITY DOLLARS to them.

Am I saying the BCS is perfect? No. Am I even a huge fan of it? No (but not for the matchups it has produced). I'm more against it because they release the rankings in the middle of October. If they didn't come out until after the season (but before the bowls you pedantic jerkstore), that would alleviate a ton of my problems with it.

Awesomest trend in College Football:

Quarterbacks not named Tim Tebow TIED with Les Miles crazy voodoo priest powers.

Least awesomest trend in College Football:

Fanbases complaining about other teams ranking above them based on results from previous seasons. Minnesota won a national championship in '62. By the logic these mental giants use, that means that they should still be number 1.

Anyway, I'm out for this week.

Last minute pick:

Auburn over LSU. Even though I am a crazy person who loves Les Miles, I don't think that they can sneak past this one.