Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Tim Tebow Died For Your Wins- NCAA Week 4 news and notes

Hello sports fans! Welcome to another exciting edition of my news and notes regarding the wonderful world of NCAA football! Plenty of fun stuff to discuss this week, so I won't waste your time with a lengthy introduction.

-Mizzou vs. Nevada: Good lord, have you ever seen so many overthrown passes? No, you have not. Don't pretend like you have! Nothing gives you that right! But anyway, this was a sloppy game from both teams that proved two things: A) Nevada needs a coach not named Chris Ault, and B) ESPN's Friday night team gets really pissy when teams run a two point conversion for no reason. For the next BSU game broadcast on a Friday, they should have EMTs standing by, or else things could get ugly. Seriously, one of the announcers spent a good fifteen minutes kvetching about the three 2 point conversions (of which there were no successes, I think). That's too damn long.

-Remember when Cal was ranked number 6, and then scored a total of 3 points against Oregon? Yeah, so I retract my statement of them slaughtering USC, and change it to "There is no possible way to predict who will win this game." Cal, for some reason, deviated from the perfectly good game plan of "Give the ball to Jahvid Best and then win the game" to "Let's throw the ball to people who aren't Jahvid Best and get horribly embarrassed on national TV as the number six team in the nation."

-So, Idaho is off to a 3-1 start. They played a solid, complete game against Northern Illinois (who, before BSU fans start laughing about a weak team, have been bowling 4 out of the last 5 years I believe) and managed to win cleanly 34-31. ANd that score was made lopsided by NIU being gifted with two touchdowns by the refs: one on an incomplete pass (turns out that you DON'T have to have possesion in the end zone for a touchdown) and one on a called incomplete that should have been an interception in the end zone (but if the ball is moving in the slightest in the defenders hands, it isn't an int).

-This reminds me to bitch about refs for a second: On big plays like that, you have to call it consistently. It can't be a catch on one possesion and a no-catch on the next. Well, it can, but it makes me hate you. Also, regarding holding: It needs to be a five yard penalty, and instead of conferring with the other refs, the head ref just needs to get on the mic, immediately, and call it, instead of wasting everyone's time.

-So, regarding Florida, and "the worlds bravest college football player, Tim Tebow." (Yes, Fox Sports referred to him as that). What the hell is brave about playing with the flu in a blowout over a terrible team? Padding stats in hopes of another Heisman? Being a leader, by playing with a debilitating illness that arguably made the concussion he received WORSE? That isn't bravery, it's stupidity, and anyone who thinks otherwise is just plain wrong.

-PS To the rest of the media: Quit making your headlines about Tebow something like "Kentucky hit gives Tebow concussion." That makes it sound like he didn't hit his own blocker's knee with the back of his head, which is what happened. Also, while a concussion is a serious deal and I hope he sits out the next game for his own health (which Urban Meyer has already said he won't), I do hope it knocked the Jesus Juice out of him. Hearing a Florida post-game that actually talked about the game, instead of God's will for the Gators to beat a crappy team, would be lovely

-I'm not going to talk about BSU, or Iowa beating Penn State, because I might punch my screen. Suffice to say, fuck.

-So, USC beat up on WSU, 27-6. But don't let the score fool you, WSU is definitely the worst FBS team this year. Despite the homer WSU radio announcer screaming about how Matt Barkley "only completes slow passes, he doesn't have any speed, so he isn't a good quarterback!" the game was never, for a second, in question. Also, favorite call from said announcer (regarding a HB draw): "Well, if he got past those three guys, there were only 3 more guys between him and the end zone!" Wow, all he would have had to do to score would be dodge MORE THAN HALF of the defense. He was so close!

Cheers of the Week: Idaho, USC, hilariously bad announcers both radio and TV

Jeers of the Week: Cal, just plain bad announcers, games in the rain (MIAMI U/PENN STATE 9/26/09 NEVER FORGET!)

Also, I am sad to report that this next weekend, those of you who follow me on Facebook will be unable to read constant status updates from me, as I will be at my grandparents, and the only internet there is not wireless, therefore I can't bring my laptop, therefore I will focus on getting fed and watered by my beloved grandmother. So, until the next update, peaceout!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Fight For Nothing

Alright AngryFootballFans, I'm man enough to know when I'm beaten. Today is one of those times. While normally I would slave away for hours, typing up a post to bring you massive amounts of both truth and comedy, today... I am humbled.

For the first time in the history of AngryFootballNerd, I am running a guest article. None of this update, save this intro, the outro, and a few comments throughout, was penned by me. No, my loyal fans, this was written by the AngryFootballRoommate, Bryan. So, without further wasting of time, I present you with....

The Fight for Nothing

A Journey into College Football Obscurity

The story of one man’s mission to make mid level WAC/MWC football entertaining through booze and sex jokes.

Hello football fans this is Bryan McMartin, Angry Football Nerd’s Roommate and the very first Guest Author on the AFN blog. I was able to become the first ever GAG (Guest Article Guy/Gal) when AFN decided to go with “It’s Official; Notre Dame would make a Decent WAC Team” as his blog title after their week one victory over Nevada, making back to back victories over mid level WAC teams. So I decided that I would chronicle my weekend trip to Fort Collins, Colorado to watch my former roommate and former school the University of Nevada Wolf Pack take on the Colorado State Rams in what I could only describe as, ‘The Fight for Nothing.’

5:45 am: I awake to my cell phone blaring out the Black Eyed Pees ‘Tonight’s Gonna be a Good Night.’ The sun is nearly 2 hours from sniffing the sky and I drag myself out of bed. About a month earlier I had decided that it would be a good idea to make a trip to Fort Collins, CO to watch my old buddy and former roommate Ryan Coulson play some football. Coulson is a 6’3’’ 245 lbs defensive end for the Univ. of Nevada and I hadn’t seen the guy since he came up to McCall in July. So my dad and I decided to couple the Nevada-CSU football game with a Denver Bronco vs Cleveland Brown game on that Sunday. An added bonus was that my sister Kellen was living in Fort Collins, so it made tons of sense at the time to fly out for 2 days, 1 night, and 2 football games. But somehow I found myself questioning the decision to book the 7 am flight out. This hit me while I blindly tried to finagle my pee stream into the toilet with morning wood that rivaled USC’s Jeweled Shillelagh, how am I going to survive this weekend?

6:40 am: My father and I board our United flight to Denver with a bag of McDonalds McGriddles and smiles on our faces. While the 7 am flight always tests your will, man can surely conquer it with a McGriddle on your tray table, seat back in its most downward relaxed position, Entourage (read: nude breasts) on your video ipod, and football/beer in your near future. Like the blazing sun rising over the Rocky Mountains the excitement starts to build for a great weekend.

9:02 am: My father and I exit the plane and head off to pick up our rental car. It was good to spend some time with my old man for a change. Ever since college started, quality time with the Papa bear was sparse, so it was good to pal around with Dr. Dad….plus he was a good designated driver. While at the rental car place he has an exchange with the rental car guy that went something like this:

Rental car nerd: “So we do have a Yukon Denali available, I can book that for you”

Dad: “I’ll just take what’s $37.”

Rental car nerd: “Well the Denali is normally $169, but I can give it to you for $80”

Dad: “The $37 car will be fine.”

Rental car nerd: “I can get you in an F 150 truck that is normally $130 for only $75”

Dad: “Nope, $37 is what I’d like to pay.”

Rental car nerd: “Ok…I’ll just give you the F 150 for $37.”

Dad to me: “I think they only have 2 cars left.”

(Dr. Mike is the man. -AFN)

So Clyde the cross-eyed retard at the Budget counter handed us the keys and we were on our way to Fort Collins.

12 pm (3 hours until kick off): I am always amazed at how pretty of a state Colorado is. It’s turning into a perfect day and I marvel at the mountain ranges and beautiful scenery. The air is crisp and the sky is clear, I stop to soak it all in...then I realize it is nearly noon and I have yet to have a beer, the GAG is sad.

12:01 pm: I crack my first beer. A Dos Equis amber, it’s delicious. I think to myself, what would the Most Interesting Man in the World do at this moment?

12:02 pm: I open my second Dos Equis, it’s what I thought the Most Interesting Man in the World would have done.

We are now at my uncle’s house for our niece’s tenth birthday party. It is now me, my dad, my sister, her boyfriend, his 2 kids, my aunt, uncle, and niece, and their friend Bill. Quite the party, huh? But it ended up being a perfect warm up for the game, because there was good beer and more importantly good food to prepare the stomach for a night of drinking.

But the highlight of the big birthday bash was when it was time to open presents; there was this exchange:

Me: “Hey Kate (the GAG’s niece) this present is from me, it’s a BOP IT. It’s a toy where it tells you what to do. You have to twist it, pull it, or bop it. You get to see how many in a row you can get.”

Kate: “Oh….(looks around uncomfortably waiting for me to stop talking to her)”

Me: “Here I’ll play it” (I play for a few moments, rotating from pulling it, twisting it and bopping it.)

Colin (Bob’s 9 yr old son): “Is that all you can do???”

Me: “Yep, that’s it”

Colin: “What about.... (thinking very hard)..….. suck it?”

Me: (over fits of laughter) “Well it only asks me to twist it, pull it, and bop it. I never thought about sucking it unless it asked.”

(Future AFN contributor? I think so!- AFN)

Could not have been happier. Today is going to be great. Beer’s 3 and 4 go down real smooth.

2:30 PM: We arrive at Colorado State’s field. The parking lot is a gigantic field with no lines or roads, now this is Colorado. We pop the back of the car and I enjoy beers 5 and 6. We are surrounded by CSU fans who are either to nice or too high/drunk to bother us visiting folks. The typical male CSU fan looked like a mix between Willy Nelson and Frodo Baggins with Jimmy Clausen’s hair. Not the most intimidating figure. The female fans were surprisingly attractive and although I had the urge, I refrained from chanting “Show us your pussies! Show us your pussies!” I definitely DID NOT refrain 2 years ago when CSU visited Nevada. I had my head out the window reciting my well constructed chant for the whole ride home that night… with my girlfriend in the same car. We are shockingly no longer together.

(But he still isn't over her! -AFN)

We entered the stadium and I was happy to see 16 oz Coors Lights for sale for $5.50. You’ve got to love college stadiums that actually serve beers. Numbers 7 and 8 go down while we head to our seats. Now it’s time for kick off.

5:00 PM: While I know this is supposed to be a football article, but there was no true football played on that field that day. Nevada was a coat hanger abortion out there and we could barely stand it. All of those BSU fans that were worried about Nevada, don’t be. Kaperenick was the worst player on the field, and that is not an understatement. He struggled to take a snap, he was forcing throws, and he was the main reason Nevada was beaten. But there were some highlights:

Seeing Colorado State’s Mascot’s Balls ( ) Always an unbelievably hilarious sight. While I have seen them many times I can’t get over the pure hilarity. They look like a potato sack covered in shag carpet, swinging from the ram’s hind legs like cuddly chandeliers.

Colorado State’s stadium- half of the field is the student section, and the stands go all the way onto the field. After watching 95% of college football games at Bronco Stadium in Boise or Mackey Stadium in Reno it is easy to forget how great it is not to have a track around the field.

Chris Ault- seeing him upset is one of the better things in the world. I hope Nevada plays LSU so Les Myles can punch his face (b/c Les Myles wants to punch everyone in the face) and see Coach Ault get upset.

5 PM- ????? PM- So save you from more boob/drinking jokes I will just finish with a few extras. I ended up drinking between 15-17 beers on the day, most of them in Bob’s basement while watching the evening football games. Here are some text messages sent from AFN and I:

(G- Bryan, A- AFN)

G- 11 minutes ino the 3rd quarter and 12 beers down. Its gonna be a great guest article.

A- UW beat USC. I called that shit.

G-FOR REAL? what was the score?

A-16-13. Turns out Corp didn't start the season because he is awful.

G- Oh no. F'n Sark. (Side note: Yes, despite the fact that the two of us curse enough to make a sailor blush, he said F'n. Clearly, the alcohol was taking over at this point.

A- Cal is going to crush SC I think.

G- Nevada blows. They stop serving beer at half. Bryan is sad. We suck bad.

A- Today can only be salvaged by a notre dame loss.

A- Which was just fucking made impossible by a ND int.

G- Holy shit. Nevada is getting killed. My buzz is starting to leave me (He was probably lying here. -AFN). What a terrible day of football.


A-Alright, Idaho won, so today is great.

G- Georgia scores in the highest scoring SEC game ever. I tell an old man i personally watched Jimmy Clausen suck a penis. The 17th beer goes smooth. Yes

A- Ty and I (other roommate) are going to sorority row hammered.

G-Where are you? There's one of those in boise?

A- The movie you drunk

G- Ha ha. How am I suppsed to assume that when there is great football on? Sorry. But I'm loving life. I'm about to write the best (First. -AFN) guest article ever! (He sent this text to me again immediately after. -AFN)

A- You'd better. Hey, call Danbar and tell him we need a ride to the movie.

G-Scrtew that. I'll give you his number.

G- And i'm not drunk. I'm awesome. Auburn vs west virginia. So good! Go football! I just knocked out some kids. And I just had sex with some chicks. YA!!

A- You are a fuck.

G- *Phone number deleted due to privacy concerns*

G- Suck it easy April. Listen up you beautiful bitch. Let me fuck you up with some truth. I love you. You should be watching football. Go Broncos/Eagles.

A- That wasn't Danbar you ass, that was someone named Janelle.

G-*Repeat of the previously sent message*

G- Ha ha ha. Whoops. It's *Another phone number gone so I don't get sued*. That's real.

A- We're too late now thanks to you. You ruined Christmas.

G- Oh i'm sorry. Now you get to drink and be awesome. You should just drive drunk. (Don't ever do this. - AFN) Football is great. Bud light better. I'm gonna french Shannon Sharpe.

A- I can't argue with that.

I’ve attached a video to Alex of me flattening young children with a giant bouncy ball. I thought it was a good idea at the time. (Yeah, at no point did I ever receive said video. Damn that devil drink! -AFN)

I drove past a grocery store that was familiar from when my old gf went to CSU, I comment, “I’ve bought condoms there before.” My father’s love for me drops just a bit.

We drive past another grocery store and my sister asks, “Did you buy condoms there too?” “No,” I answer, “I think I bought a pregnancy test there……It was negative…..(I fart)..Oops.” Classic me.

I was awkwardly entertained by the Georgia-South Carolina game. Who knew those two would score points? I curse a couple of times awkwardly with kids and a bunch of people I’ve never met around.

The next day the Denver Broncos blow out the Cleveland Browns. Shannon Sharpe parachutes out of a plane and into Mile High Stadium for his Ring of Fame induction. As corny as that sounds it was actually one of the more exciting things I’ve ever seen. It reminded me of the Chick-fil-a commercial where the cows parachute into the stadium except instead of a cow it was a horse, er Shannon Sharpe.

All in all it was a great weekend, and a totally worthless college football game. Now I need to think of a great title for this weekends games so I can write another guest article about 2 weeks from now when I head to the Biggest Little City in the World for the Biggest Little Battle for Nothing the Nevada v. UNLV version. Until then, I’m the man with the ball. I’m the one who can throw it faster than fuck. That is why I am better than everyone in the world. So kiss my ass and suck my dick everyone.


And there you have the first ever guest article.

We will be back next week with a regular style update. Hopefully, there will be some better games, because what the hell was I going to talk about this time anyway? USC's annual collapse against a team they should cream? Minnesota not being that good as it turns out? Nebraska losing to VT in the most boring game ever played? I work with what they give me people.

Oh, and to answer last week's "Trivia" question:

The spelling of Weis as Wise started last spring at BSU. A female sportswriter wrote an article with the title being something like "10 bits of advice for Notre Dame." The article, which was more condescending than anything I have ever read, was a letter to ND's head coach, basically lambasting him for all his faults both real (poor team discipline) and perceived (profanity filled outbursts at the media). The kicker? She misspelled Weis as Wise every single time throughout the article. This prompted another awesome article from the head of the student newspaper's sports section, where he decried everyone criticizing her as sexist. Not mentioned once? The fact that in an article that haughty, she got the most basic fact wrong.

Until next week!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Riverglen Jr High def. University of Colorado 49-7, It's NCAA Week 2 news and notes

Welcome back readers! Sorry for the delay, a wonderful bout with the flu (regular, not the Charlie Weis variety) kept me sidelined for a few days. Speaking of swine flu, did you know that you are far more likely to be killed from either A) the regular flu or B) me after you make a swine flu joke to me than the swine flu? The more you know! Anyway, this is going to be a fairly brief one, as not a ton of note happened over week 2.

-Colorado could be defeated by many high schools throughout the nation, and some junior highs. I mean really, losing to Toledo that badly? If you didn't watch it, don't let the score of 54-38 fool you, as most of the Buffs points came in garbage time (in this game, the entire second half). Including a lovely touchdown run from Cody Hawkins that saw him receive a concussion due to leading with his helmet, and of course his father still playing him with 2 minutes to go in the game. The best part of the game? Either the announcers saying that it is the hardest pass to catch when you have an open field in front of you (Cody managed to overthrow his receiver a few yards as they were saying this; on Toledo's next possession, the same play resulted in a touchdown), or saying that Hawkins Sr. doesn't need to worry about his job security right as his bad QB of a son throws a pick. He could have the biggest buyout in the world, and I would still think he'll be gone before next season. Anyway, look forward to the much anticipated pillow fight that will be the Colorado-Iowa State game, as it should surely set a record for number of fan suicides during a game, as well as loudest nationwide groan.

-Michigan State lost to Central Michigan (my MAC team of choice) after a failed 2 pt. conversion from CMU led to the most stunningly beautiful onside kick I have ever seen, which resulted in CMU winning the game. This does not bode well for the Big Ten this year.

-UCLA beat Tennessee at Tennessee. This is hilarious because Lane Kiffin is an idiot and an ass, and the only time I will cheer for Florida this season is this weekend when the two teams meet. For those who don't know, Kiffin accussed Florida head coach Urban Meyer of violating recruiting rules when he contacted a recruit who was visiting Tennessee. The problem? It wasn't a violation. Oops. Look for a final score of (infinity sign) to negative 7. That's right, the Vols will somehow find a way to score negative points. Probably off a Crompton interception.

-For you, Mom: Click Me with your Volume up!

-So, Michigan beat Notre Dame. This was awesome, as it is pretty much directly a result of Charlie Wise's poor playcalling (hmmmm, need to preserve the lead with a couple minutes left? I'D BETTER PASS THAT BALL OR I MIGHT NOT GET MY HAM!!!!!). Of course, to hear Notre Dame fans tell it, they lost because the refs took away a touchdown earlier in the game (video evidence shows that Allen was OB on the TD run). So, here, I'm going to offer Wise some free advice: If you are really as good as you think you are, one bad call shouldn't matter. This is why I hate it when people bitch about refs costing them a game. Feel free to piss and moan about bad calls during the game all you want (I do). But the second that clock reads 00:00, the only reason your team lost is because you got outplayed. This is true in 99% of games. The other 1% of games are officiated by Pac-10 refs. Also, if this is called during a game, you are, in fact, never allowed to bitch about officiating in that game, because that is awesome. Oh, and regarding Wise's sending of a multitude of calls to Big Ten HQ to be reviewed: The name of his book, written by himself, is No Excuses.

-My life has been a lot happier without the Idaho Statesman in it. For example, I haven't had to read about how BSU was the underdog in some obscure way against Miami of Ohio, or read the glowing description of their victory. I recommend everyone try eliminating that "news"paper from their diet, and replacing all your needs for news with asking me.

-Finally, the Hootenanny in the Horseshoe: USC-tOSU. This was, honestly, a nailbiter. It came down to the last drive of both teams, with true freshman QB Matt Barkley leading his team to a last minute go-ahead TD (aided by tOSU head coach Jim Tressel's sweatervest making some questionable decisions with the ball). Thankfully (especially for my liver), the Trojans pulled out the win. Oh, and for fun: Name 3 players for Ohio State that aren't Terrelle Pryor. Go ahead, I'll wait (no cheating allowed, Mr. I'!).

Didn't think so. Thanks Herbstreit and Musberger! Way to enlighten us all with your awesome commentary, and.... oh Kirk, I can't stay mad at you. Not with those dreamy eyes...

-Regarding USC, they played exactly like they are: a team that lost a lot of talent but still has a lot, and a team with a 19 year old Quarterback.

-Now, a lot of people have been bitching that Barkley did nothing but hand off the ball to Joe McKnight on that drive. These people (predominately Florida fans) have been saying that "Any idiot can do that." So, here's my proposal: Walk on at a BCS school and become the starting QB. Also, you must do this within 6 months of coming to the school. Then, in your second game, in front of 100k hostile fans, successfully lead your team to a come-from-behind victory in the last 5 minutes of the game. If you do all that, congratulations! You've proved that any idiot can do that!

Cheers of the Week: USC, Michigan football (we missed you)

Jeers of the Week: Notre Dame head coach Charlie Wise, Jimmy Clausen and his punchable face, Terrelle Pryor

Coming at you next week we should have a guest article, plus more of the usual updates full of the stirring quality you've come to expect from this blog. Until then!

BONUS CONTEST: This week I purposely spelled ND head coach Charlie Weis's name as Wise. If you can tell me why I did this (yes, there is an actual answer), you will receive a prize. Answers should be e-mailed to to be considered. Oh, and it is based on an actual event, nothing to do with my personal feelings. Good Luck!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Notre Dame would make a Great WAC Team- NCAA Week 1 news and notes

First off, congratulations to title contest winner Bryan McMartin. We will be running an article written by you at a later date (as soon as you can find a computer to write it on that isn't mine).

So, what a terrific weekend to start off the season that was! We had some upsets, some big hits, learned a bit about freshmen players, and even got to see a punch in the face!

For those of you who are new, or don't remember last season (shame on you, since I'm sure this was the highlight of your week), let me give a brief rundown of what goes on at this blog. After the weekend (usually around the time the polls come out), I update with brief discussions of many of the games that were played, along with my point of view on what it means. There are also lists, contests, and all other sorts of goodies to help keep you occupied reading. So, without waiting, here comes the opening week rundown!

-Boise State vs. Oregon: Figured I would get this one out of the way first (especially since it was the first game of the season that actually mattered). Boise State's defense looked great, and.... That was pretty much it as far as highlights from this game. Apparently, BSU had issues with thinking that the Blue Turf was another member of the team, what with the fumbles. Oregon, surprisingly, looked like a bag of buttholes. I want to say here that I think Capital high School could beat them, but that is giving Capital too little credit. I KNOW Capital could beat them. Final thoughts on this one: Oregon is more than likely done for the season on a national level if they keep playing like that, and BSU is going to need to step it up or some hungry WAC team is going to take them. It remains to be seen how many of the miscues were simple "opening night jitters," or if they are a sign of something deeper. Knowing how Peterson coaches, the answer is more than likely the former. Oh, and to the BSU fans: Chanting overrated to a lower ranked opponent is one of the most classless things I can think of. It's both classless and stupid when they are the only ranked team on your schedule (meaning: you need them to be highly ranked to help your schedule if you want to play in January).

-Regarding the punch: Blount is an asshole. He deserves to lose his senior season, and is damn lucky he didn't lose his scholarship. Yes, Hout was taunting him, but in the real world, when someone says something to you that you don't like, you don't punch him in the face. Nor do you attack your own teammates. And you definately don't go after the opposing teams fans when they taunt you (admittedly, it was hilarious to see the face of the main guy taunting him go from pure joy to unbridled terror when it looked like Blount might reach him). This punch also demonstrates why I like Chris Peterson. When Hout was taunting Blount, you cans ee Peterson grab him and start telling him off. When Hout goes down, Peterson helps to pick him up AND GOES RIGHT BACK TO TELLING HIM OFF. Something tells me that maybe Coach Pete feels like getting yelled at by your coach and knocked down from one punch on national TV is punishment enough. Kudos to Peterson for how he has handled this whole situation (especially his recent comments regarding how we should be paying attention to the over one hundred players at the game who managed to not fight each other).

All that said, it was a pretty sweet punch.

-USC Freshman QB Matt Barkley not only looks the part of a Southern Cal QB (look at him and tell me one other school he could play at), turns out he can play the part pretty damn well too. USC got off to a slow start against San Jose State, and then, after the first quarter, the floodgates opened. Barkley went 15 for 19 with 233 yards in his first ever college game. This is made more impressive by it being his first ever college game day while actually in college. And just to remind people of what else USC has at QB, AAron Corp went 4-4 in garbage time for 45 yards and a TD pass. Think Ohio State is a little more nervous now?

-They should be, because after needing a very poor play calling decision from Navy to lock up the game... Also, some advice to Navy: when the play style you have been using all game is working that well against a team that should be devastating you, it is probably a good idea to not deviate from that plan on the most critical 2 point conversion of the game (and possibly the season). Especailly when, if you had not changed, you could have beaten an overrated Ohio State team.

-Oklahoma State vs. Georgia was a game that I, unfortunately, had to miss thanks to a birthday party for my parents. From the highlights, I did see a couple of hits that would have carried jail time if they hadn't happened on a football field. Watching one, I could swear I cracked a rib.

-Notre Dame, led by the incredibly punchable-looking face of Jimmy Clausen, beat Nevada in convincing fashion which led to the title of this week's notes. Think about who their last two games have been against, and you'll see why. I'm not going to be saying much more about Notre Dame winning if I can avoid it this season, since A)Their schedule is, for the most part, pathetic (another thing that would make them fit in with the top of the WAC) and B) I can feel my blood pressure rise whenever I have to say something positive about them.

-I also didn't catch much the Alabama-Virgina Tech game, which is a shame, because it was a good game from the sounds of it. I wish VT would have won, but hey, no weekend goes truly perfectly.

-The reason I didn't see much of Bama-VT is because I was watching Idaho-New Mexico State. And for the first time since I started the blog, I feel like I can say something positive about Idaho without being a homer. The offensive line looks really good (and absolutely huge on the left side), and Nathan Enderle learned how to throw a pass to the right reciever. The defense finally got the hang of that tricky "tackling" business. All in all, it was a great game for Idaho (significantly less so for NMSU), giving them their first opening day victory since 1999, and for the time being, the undisputed lead of the WAC. Funny side note: when I pointed that out on a football forum I read, a BSU fan (I'm not making assumptions here, he said he was) said that that would end next weekend when Idaho played Washington (more on them later). I pointed out that, win or lose, Idaho would still be on top of the WAC due to no WAC games that weekend. The best response he could come up with? "Fuck you." Not only are they going to be on top of the WAC (conference standings only) for the next week, but WAC games don't start in earnest until October. That's a long time to see yourself in the top half of the rankings, which could provide a needed psychological boost. But even if it doesn't, I'd like to come back at that BSU fan and provide my response here: "No, fuck you."

-I'm not going to comment much on BYU-Oklahoma,. other than to say that if you are a team looking to make a national championship run and you are going to lose a game, it's good to get that loss out of the way on day one. Of course, I don't think OU is going to lose only one game (Hey there Texas! So nice to see you Oklahoma State! Thanks for letting us drop by Miami!) this season, but the unfortunate point remains that if you are going to lose, lose early.

-Washington looked like a real football team against LSU. With a few plays going the other way, UW would have started the season off with a win. I can promise you that they won't go 0-12 again. Also, allow me to say a few thigns to the LSU defense: When a player for the opposite team makes an 8 yard play for a first down against you, please don't showboat like you actually accomplished something good. Unless your tackle literally won the game by coming in the final seconds, you have no reason to celebrate the other team getting closer to scoring.

-Also, is it just me, or does Les Miles look like he hates you personally on the sidelines? I can almost hear him thinking "That's right, AFN, I know you're listening to my thoughts. When I find you, I am going to kick the shit out of you. That's right, I think words I would never say." Don't get me wrong, he is an outstanding coach (bad coaches tend to not win championships). He just looks so mad at you!

-Moving into Sunday, where Colorado State beat Colorado at Colorado. Think Hawkins can feel his ass burning from the INCREDIBLY HOT SEAT he is sitting on? Do you think his son, Cody (24-40 for 222 yards with 1 TD) might shoulder some of the blame? The answer is no, he doesn't. It's Coach's fault that he seemingly can't let someone else take a snap, even when Cody is seemingly rattled or just plain having an off day (losing to a team that you should beat handily would probably count as both). Side note: watching this game at the AngryFootballParents house, with the AngryFootballIncrediblyLargeAndGloriousHDTV led to a discussion with the AngryFootballFather. When I asked him if he would start me at QB at a Big-12 school, he immediately answered "No." This was the correct thing for him to say, as I would be too busy cursing at the refs, other team, and our Offensive Coordinator to be anywhere even approaching a rating of "developing." This led to more questions: "Big 10?" "No." "WAC?" "No." "Sun Belt, High School, Junior High, Optimist?" "No, no, no, no." Towards the end of the game, a message came scrolling along the bottom of the screen, informing us that after the "Foobtabll" game, the normal programming would resume. I asked my father if I could be the starting QB of a "Foobtabll" team, and I am happy to say that I will be quarterbacking that, just as soon as we figure out what the hell a foobtabll is.

-Finally, We come to Miami (the real Miami, not the one BSU plays this weekend) against Florida State. This was the epitome of good college football. Lots of big plays, big hits (Miami's kicker getting flagged for a late hit was awesome), and a game that came down to the very last play. This is one worthy of ESPN classic, folks. Look for both of these teams to make some noise later this season.

Cheers of the Week: Idaho, USC, Chris Peterson, Miami-FSU, Oklahoma State, BYU

Jeers of the Week: Legarotte Blount, Byron Hout, whoever decided to try a passing play for Navy with the game on the line, Florida's schedule, Jimmy Clausen's Face

-Every week, I am going to have a contest to think of a title for the blog. The following critera must be met:
1. Funny.
2. Relatively inoffensive (no racism/sexism)
3. In by 5 PM Sunday.
4. Relevent to something that happened, or a program that you have a deeper knowledge of.

I'm not going to necessairly pick one every week, but if yours is picked, you win the "honor" of writing a guest article to be run whenever you submit it. Guest article must be done within one week of winning (unless you contact me regarding mitigating circumstances), timely (any articles relating to the punch at the BSU-Oregon game are officially too late), and not a rundown of a game (that's my shtick and you can't take that away from me!).

As always, questions/comments/death threats can be sent to where they will be promptly responded to or deleted depending on my mood.

See you next week, where we get to discuss this year's "Collision in the Coliseum" (USC-Ohio State game), which I am lobbying to get called "Hootennany in the Horseshoe." So, until next week, keep watching the skies!