Saturday, October 17, 2009

Live Blogging the day away!

Alright sports fans, here it is. The fabled LiveBlog! I'll update this specific post any time I feel like updating. So, without wasting your time, here we go! (Also, a warning upon a reading through what I've already said today: This is definitely a rated R blog update)

8:30 AM: I am woken up by the doorbell at my parents house (I stayed here because they have a nicer TV and access to most games. Don't say I never did anything for you fans). I ignore this, because anyone who would need to get ahold of me would know to call me.

9:30 AM: A quick shower, and I prepare my breakfast. What am I having, you ask? A Guinness. This day could be something wonderful.

9:59 AM: And Corso picks Texas to the surprise of nobody. You know, say what you want about Gameday, the guys have great chemistry together and manage to put together a genuinely entertaining show. Also, my pick? Hook 'em Horns!

10:01 AM: Regarding last year's Big-12 Debacle- Texas would have lost to Florida as well. Really, they should be thrilled that they got Ohio State in a BCS game, since the only team more likely than Oklahoma to lose a big game is Ohio State.

10:11 AM: And we are underway. Good play Oklahoma to start it off (Note: I am not going to update every single play).

10:13 AM: Holy shit, that was a stunning play. DeMarco Murray is a phenomenal player. Now, if he could be on a team with a coach that isn't known for choking...

10:15 AM: And the Red River Shootout sees its first points in an OU field goal. Oh, by the way, if you refer to it as the Red River Rivalry, you have no soul.

10:18 AM: I'm not sure if that kickoff wasn't actually a shitty kick, instead of trying to keep it away from Shipley. Anyway, let's see what McCoy can do here.

10:21 AM: Welp, he can fumble, that's for sure.

10:22 AM: Oh shit Bradford is down. No matter who you cheer for in a game, you hate to see an injury. Unless you're an asshole.

10:25 AM: Yeah, Landry "I look like I hide in Bushes and Follow Teenage Girls Around" Jones isn't going to cut it in this game for the Sooners. Also, I was relieved to see that they didn't call OU for getting next to Shipley on the punt. Last year, this game was marred by a horrid 'Roughing the Kicker" call. I'm hopeful that this year we won't see anything too bad this year. I am sure, however, that we will have at least one stupid review that either overturns a huge play (incorrectly), or spends a good 5-10 minutes only to confirm an obvious play. In other news, the instant replay in college has officially jumped the shark.

10:29 AM: "Shipley and McCoy are roommates" count: 1 And it's time for another beer.

10:31 AM: Does anybody else remember last season when Texas lost their back-up center because ten minutes after Obama was elected, he posted "Can't believe that fucking (n-word) got into the White House." Yeah, his profile picture was him snapping to a black QB. Whoops. Huge PI call on UT.

10:35 AM: And another field goal makes it 6-0 OU. Also, I liked the first Jimmy Football Bud Light commercial (the Grooler) was good, and I would actually buy a grooler. The other ones have just been awful.

10:39 AM: Dear Colt McCoy, There are other receivers on the team besides Shipley. You should try to throw it to them.

10:43 AM: First off, overturning that completion was absolutely the right call. Secondly, I love neutral site games. Every team should have one per year.

10:48 AM: Dear Texas, please learn to Tackle thanks in advance.

10:49 AM: Landry Jones is trying so hard to throw a pick. Keep reaching for that rainbow, you creepy looking backup QB.

10:53 AM: Missed field goal by OU. Let's see some actual offense from either team now.

10:58 AM: If Wisconsin beat Iowa, I will be incredibly happy today. 10-0 Badgers.

11:02 AM: Will that fumble scratch Landry's itch to throw a pick? I doubt it, but only time will tell!

11:06 AM: "Shipley and McCoy are roommates" count: 2 and yeah, that was a good call refs.

11:29 AM: Huh, a facemask. That's a good way to fuck up a sweet punt.

11:35 AM: First, that was a terribly stupid penalty for that Texas player. That could very well cost him playing time next week. Second, I am very curious to see where this play ends up. I can't tell who gets possession, much less where.

11:38 AM: Ok, so you can't advance the muffed kick. Texas ball on the OU 18. Maybe some offense will happen?

11:44 AM: Nope, offense will not happen. 6-3 is not a score that anybody likes to see in the RRS.

11:46 AM: Even though they (Texas) did recover the fumble, can we, as a nation, move past saying " Team X is saying they recovered." EVERY FUCKING PLAYER for each team thinks that they got it on a any fumble that is even remotely contested. It does not deserve to be said.

11:51 AM: That was an amazing read-option by Colt, and I hope that the call on the field is reversed. But looking at the replay, I doubt it...

11:55 AM: Did anybody else hear a spring sound effect when that ball was fumbled by OU? Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoing!

11:56 AM: Please let there be a safety here. I want to go into the halftime with a score of 6-5.

12:00 PM: I don't know if I'm watching the best game of all time or the worst. And I can't believe that I'm excited for halftime so I can watch Big-10 football. That should never be the superior choice to Big-12 games, especially THE Big-12 game.

12:10 PM: And the first play I see in the Wisconsin-Iowa game is a wonderful fingertip catch on Iowa's part. Already, this game is better than OU-UT.

12:12 PM: And a couple plays later leads to the first TD I've seen all day.

12:25 PM: And we're back to the Red River Slapfight. Will either team show up, or am I doomed to watch the worst/best/worst game ever?

12:28 PM: Why is it only now I discover that Purdue is leading Ohio State 23-7 in the 3rd? Holy shit, if they lose, that would be wonderful.

12:48 PM: And the Red River Shitout sees the first touchdown with half the 3rd quarter gone. Texas is showing signs of life, but how will OU respond?

12:50 PM: In honor of the first touchdown, I am having a 16 ounce Bud Light.

12:53 PM: You know, I want to say that, with the massive amount of flags being thrown, that this game has had a ton of shitty calls, but they've been pretty accurate. That said, occasionally letting them play wouldn't go amiss. Also, 40ish minutes until USC-Notre Dame.

12:56 PM: Nice hands no hands.

12:57 PM: Hey, another touchdown! This one by OU. Assuming the point after is good, we are tied at 13s. Yup, it's good.

1:05 PM: Bud Light really does have superior drinkability.

1:06 PM: I haven't watched it, but I wish that ABC would stop making announcers plug FlashForward, since I am positive that it is a terrible show. SPOILER ALERT: They aren't going to change anything, and exactly what they saw would happen is going to happen.

1:09 PM: 2:37 left in Ohio State-Purdue, 18-26 Purdue. Hold fast Boilermakers. I want to be able to HOLY SHIT YES HUGE SACK ON TERELLE "I AM A BAD QUARTERMANN" PRYOR say that Idaho could beat tOSU. See, because they couldn't beat Purdue, who got beat by Northern Illinois, who got beaten by the Vandals.

1:13 PM: 2 minutes left, Purdue ball after tOSU 4-and-out. Do this Boilermakers. DO IT.

1:16 PM: And Ohio State just lost the game on a Facemask. TRESSELBALL.

1:18 PM: Texas FG.

1:23 PM: I'm just going to post this again. Ohio State lost to one of the bottom 3 Big Ten teams on a Facemask penalty. TRESSELBALL. Or, from what I've seen of it, a better way to describe it might be PRYORBALL.

1:32 PM: Alright, with the exception of the OU-UT clusterfuck, the new batch of games is starting. Nebraska plays host to Texas Tech, in a game featuring the only player fit to win the heisman this year, Ndamukong Suh, Nebraska's beastly Dlineman. Seriously, he is the only player in the NCAA right now who is even close to deserving it. (PS, Big UT int just now). Seriously, it's about damn time that the Heisman stop being a QB/RB award. This year, barring an epic explosion of suck on the Man Named Suh's part, it is a god damned insult if the award goes to anyone else.

1:36 PM: I am slightly nervous for the ND-USC game. First off, I am going to go hoarse yelling at the shitty NBC announcers, who are the biggest ND homers in the world. Example: They just called ND's offense High Powered. Yup, high powered is the term I would use to describe a team that needs last second heroics from a decent quarterback to beat incredibly shitty teams. Yes, I know UW beat USC, please don't bother mentioning it.

1:40 PM: In the interests of full disclosure, I've stopped caring about the Red River Horridgame.

1:42 PM: I retract that previous statement. Apparently, OU picked off McCoy. A few plays later, UT picked off Landry. The only thing that sums up this game?

1:44 PM: Yeah, that was blatant PI on ND. You can't tackle the receiver like that, and especially not when you are trying to get him in a chokehold.

1:47 PM: In another full disclosure moment (and one that will never be redacted), what I said about only assholes wanting injuries? I actually want Jimmy Clausen to get some horrible, quality of life to 0 injury in this game, as he is by far the biggest douche in college football. And it burns me up that if they win today (which again, they very well could), not only will they almost certainly go to a BCS bowl (calling it: they go from 25 into the top 12 with a win, no matter how ugly), but Clausen will get the Heisman.

1:49 PM: Texas is going to win by 3. Have the ball, OU has no timeouts, and there is less than 2 minutes.

1:51 PM: Love the NBC announcers no mention of the ND fumble out of bounds at the end of their first offensive play. It makes no difference, but expect to see them gloss over any negatives about the Irish they possibly can.

1:54 PM: Thank Thor that one is over. If OU even flirts with being ranked again this year, then I will lose whatever tiny amount of faith I still have in pollsters.

2:00 PM: Ok, all critics to Matt Barkley: Kindly shut it. That was a hell of a drive, 7-0 SC.

2:04 PM: Weis thinks running the ball is the key to them winning. That might be tough, with an amazing D-Line against a mediocre at best O-Line.

2:05 PM: From another football forum: "Seriously, a QB named Colt McCoy at Texas is the best argument for intelligent design I've ever seen."

2:16 PM: And the refs seem to fucking LOVE giving Notre Dame an extra yard on the spots. Seriously, he wasn't even close on that 3rd and 1.

2:20 PM: That was a pretty sweet fake FG on ND's part. But against a worse defense, that's a touchdown. Of course, the TD on the next play makes it suck just as bad.

2:21 PM: Keep looking smug, Clausen you fucker. Notice how when it came time for a big play, your team relied on the FG holder to make the big pass. Also, that shouldn't be a touchdown, he was about a foot short when his knee hit. Of course they don't overturn it, but it was pretty obvious.

2:25 PM: "Did you see how many blue jerseys were around the line of scrimmage there? At least 8." I counted. There were five. Not that that makes the tackle any less painful, but this announcing is wretched.

2:38 PM: Of course when Florida is down to Arkansas halfway through the second my CBS channel goes out. I'm guessing that the announcers called every affiliate possible and told them to stop broadcasting, because the amount of fellatio they are giving Tebow will actually get them brought up on obscenity charges.

2:41 PM: "It's been the Irish trickery that's kept them in the game so far. But with very few gimmicks." Seriously, junior high kids could do a better job of announcing. They could at least try not to contradict themselves the very next sentence.

2:43 PM: That could have been PI, but from the angle that the announcers were bitching about the lack of a call, you could see the defender kind of making a play for the ball. That means it wasn't as bad of a no-call as the NBC chucklefucks thought it was.

2:47 PM: Yeah, that pretty clearly didn't touch anybody from USC. If it did, it managed to touch him and then continue with absolutely no change in trajectory.

2:48 PM: The best way to sum up the OU-UT game is this image right here (go go nerds!)

2:51 PM: Uh-oh, incoming Barkley as Tebow reference coming... Wait, this is NBC... The SEC doesn't exist in their minds. Which is probably for the best, as can you imagine how bad these idiots would be with a good quarterback and team to cheer for? Also, that was a sweet catch on that PI play.

2:57 PM: That better be overturned, what with him clearly down before the ball came out. Edit: Yup, they got that one right.

3:01 PM: And USC with the FG!

3:19 PM: Alright, so after the half is when one of the teams is going to run away with it I think. On to the Idaho-Hawaii game, tied at 7s.

3:23 PM: the ESPN plus announcers just referred to Hawaii coach Greg McMackin as a "nice guy." This is the same coach that got in deep shit for his homophobic comments in the preseason. Yeah, sure sounds like a nice guy to me.

3:25 PM: 14-7 Idaho on an absolutely gorgeous touchdown pass!

3:40 PM: And we're back with the Fight for the Jeweled Shillelagh. Let's see which team comes out after the half.

3:45 PM: *Calls Matt Barkley bad for underthrowing a pass that the receiver has to come back for*

*Gives credit to Jimmy Clausen for trusting his receiver to come back to the pass he underthrew*

*Is an announcer for NBC college football*

3:49 PM: HUGE STOP for USC on 4th and 1. Which is now getting measured, because of the FUCKING RIDICULOUS SPOT..... Which still comes up short. In your face ND/NBC!

3:51 PM: Two realizations hit me. First, to play QB at Hawaii you must be ugly (seriously, they have some of the ugliest QB's ever). Second, I am actually cheering against NBC in the USC/ND game.

3:56 PM: Tebow sacks are like sex, except he's having them.

4:00 PM: After getting sacked (with what looked like a little extra curricular hit on him) Matt Barkley retaliates by throwing a touchdown pass.

4:09 PM: Touchdown Notre Dame, but ya gotta love the NBC announcers getting pissy that they review the play.

4:13 PM: I've touched on this before, but it is absurd when a defensive player celebrates a tackle that wasn't for loss. Unless it literally won the game for you, then all you did was let the offense gain yards. Case in point, Te'o for ND celebrating a tackle that was on an eight yard gain.

4:16 PM: Touchdown Trojans!

4:21 PM: Absurd PI on USC.

4:25 PM: Yeah guy for ND, turns out you can't run into the punt returner when he signals fair catch. Even these homer announcers know that.

4:30 PM: So, I finally found a channel broadcasting the Arkansas Florida game. All the bad thigns I've said about the USC-ND announcers? yeah, multiply that by 100 for the announcers on this game. They are incapable of saying ANYTHING positive about Arkansas. Shit, they just scored the go-ahead touchdown, and these bags of shit are acting like Florida has already won.

4:41 PM: So, I got distracted by roommate showing up and had to recount how bad some of the calls today have been. Anyway, ND-USC is now 20-34. Florida-Arkansas is 20-20

4:52 PM: A Florida fan on said that after they come back and win this, everyone will hate them again. I was kind enough to assure him that everybody hated them anyway.

4:53 PM: Florida's kicker's last name is Sturgis. Only a few readers will understand this, but that makes me hate them even more.

4:55 PM: 27-34 in the USC Notre Dame game, 20-20 still in Florida Arkansas. My heart, she is exploding.

5:00 PM: (probable) Final score in the UF-Ark game: Arkansas 20, Refs 23

5:03 PM: Seriously, those refs in the Florida game should be fired, and their relatives should be fired from their jobs for that God damn absurd display of homerism. "Obvious False Start? Nah, we aren't going to call that, that could hurt Florida's chances. Offensive PI? NOT ON MY WATCH! Gentlemen, under my command, Florida will never get called for a penalty again."

5:12 PM: I can feel the years of my life flying out the window with this USC ND ending...

5:14 PM: that was the biggest fucking bullshit call ever.

5:21 PM: One second left... Also, despite what you may think, I'm not enough of a homer to want a shitty ending like that. There was absolutely 1 second left on the clock after that play.

5:23 PM; Trojans win! Terrible last play there from Jimmy "Heisman" Clausen. Can't wait to hear Lou Holtz spin this one into ND playing for the BCS Championship. On to the Idaho game.

5:28 PM: First, let's hear it for Notre Dame's leading receiver, Ground! Second, the best part f that one second left call? ND lost twice in one minute.

5:29 PM: The realization has sunk in. USC is going to get punished in the polls more than Florida will, despite beating a better team than they did by more. Florida isn't the number one team in the nation media and coaches, but don't let that simple fact stop you from putting them there.

5:39 PM: 28-17 Idaho with 9 minutes left.

5:49 PM: Sweet fumble recovery Idaho.

5:50 PM: This is the funniest thing I have ever read. From The Football Funhouse (at "You know goons, we all deal with a lot in our day to day lives and games like Notre Dame vs USC are colorful distractions that can divert us from the things in life that are truly important. And I think each of us has had a solemn reminder of that today and more specifically in this thread. For no matter how important it may seem when our teams charge out of the tunnel on Saturday, when it feels like the weight of the world is against us we all need to take a big step back, put things in perspective and remember that fuck Florida forever."

5:53 PM: So, apparently just really awesome blocking is Holding now? Terrible flag.

5:55 PM: And then Idaho loses control on a false start and a hold. Also, the more I looke at Greg McMackin, the more I think he should be a Disney villain. Look at that guy! You can't tell me that he wouldn't be better suited to threatening to burn down the plucky orphanage to make a parking lot for a mini-mall or something.



6:10 PM: Hawaii with a meaningless touchdown. And then a fumble on the 2 pt. conversion means that they stay well short of the spread.

6:14 PM: Hawaii recovers the onside kick. 14 seconds left, down by 12.

6:15 PM: And I think that officially makes three games where a Shiloh Keo pick wins it, even if this time it wasn't necessary to save the game.

6:25 PM: So, BSU to a big time bowl, Winner of Nevada vs. Idaho to Hawaii bowl, loser to the H-Bowl I'm thinking. And Fresno State to the New Mexico Bowl.

6:44 PM: Well sports fans, I'm going to declare this live blog done at this point. Sure, there are still games going on. Important ones, too. But, on the other hand, I have consumed nothing but beer today and was just offered a ride to Five Guys. So, I hope you all enjoyed this Live Blog edition of the AngryFootballNerd. See you when I see you!

Friday, October 16, 2009

More Coaches to Possibly Party With

Alright football fans, first, let me apologize. I didn't have an update for last week's games, and that is all on me. I got distracted with real life issues, and basically just forgot to do it. To make it up to you, I am planning on LiveBlogging Week 7's games! Stay on this website for up to the minute updates on what I think, as well as an insight into just how much I can drink by myself before being guilted by my own conscience into stopping (Happy Birthday Mom!).

Anyway, since I asked for suggestions on more coaches, you wonderful folks have been pouring in ideas. I thought I would share some of the better ones with you.

Dennis Erickson:
He spends the three months before your party claiming that he can help your "weak" party be the best party ever. You are really excited because he is, after all, Dennis Erickson. You trusted him once before and he drilled you in the ass, but this time things seem better. Instead, he brings a bunch of ex-convicts and lousy hookers to your party and makes it worse. He gets too drunk, blacks out, and gets raped by the ex-convicts. The hookers drink all your beer and don't put out. Erickson wakes up in Tempe, Arizona, and promptly ruins their party too.

Nick Saban:
I initially tried to be creative with some comparison between Jesus and Peter. Peter betraying Jesus three times. Similar to Saban's betrayal of Louisiana, Miami, and inevitably Alabama. Instead I will keep it very simple.
Anyone who wears a hat like his straw sombrero while on the sidelines of a division one football game is automatically a dick. On second thought, just don't invite him.

Those two are courtesy of an anonymous reader. The next ones are courtesy of my very own AngryFootballBrother, who when he reads this needs to get off his ass and write that guest article I told him I wanted.

Rick Neuheisel: After talking big all night and making a few bets about how he's going to get the number of the hottie dancing in the corner, he makes a few ineffectual and half-assed attempts to pick her up. She quickly loses interest and is later seen leaving the party with Pete Carroll.

Jeff Tedford: Makes a huge attention-grabbing entrance, does a couple keg stands, kicks ass in a few games of beer pong (the REAL kind, with paddles, not that pussy Beirut nonsense), and is generally the toast of the party for the first hour or so. Later, when it's his turn to play pong against some solid opponents, he's found passed out naked in the corner of the yard, covered in his own vomit. You leave him there, as no one wants to touch him.

Mike Locksley (New Mexico): In addition to arriving with Tom Cable, who's like the creepy college guy at a high school party, Locksley shows up already drunk and takes every drinking game way too seriously. Eventually he and Cable start fighting anyone and everyone on the front lawn, until you remind them that they have one win between them and they are laughed off your property.

Dan Hawkins: Leaves your party halfway through to go to some douchey downtown club. When the bouncers won't let him in because he brought along a minor (his son), he comes crawling back, begging you to let him back in. Unfortunately, you are at capacity, and he's last seen screaming at his son as he forces him to do wind sprints down the middle of the street. (AFN Note: And then Cody tries to escape the state in a weather balloon)

Finally, we have one that is an amalgamation of the thoughts of the GAG, myself, and the AngryFootballMother.

Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino: They both hover around the buffet table. You pay them no mind really, figuring that they are harmless. But, after a couple hours, you hear a scuffle. Charlie is being a huge asshole to not only Mark, but also anybody nearby who passes within a chubby arm's length. Eventually, you gather a big group of the other coaches and literally roll Weis out of the party. Mangino gets to stay, because really, what bad can you say about the guy?

Welp, see you all in 11 hours for the LiveBlog!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The Coach Party

Hello football fans, and welcome to a different kind of update! Oh no, this isn't replacing my usual weekly discussion of the previous weeks games (although, due to real-life occurances, this will be pushed back to Thursday this week).

No, instead, I bring you this. Last week, the GAG (one-time blog contributor Bryan McMartin, also the AngryFootballRoommate) and I were discussing what certain football coaches would be like to party with. We had a good laugh, and then I thought to myself, "Hey self, why don't you share this with your adoring fans? They'd probably appreciate it, and it beats a 6th consecutive hour of studying for your math test!"

So, you are throwing a party, and you have a cell phone containing the phone numbers of all FBS coaches. Thanks to this helpful guide to the coaches, you can make the decisions that must be made. Who will you put on the guest list? Who gets the boot if they show up? You decide!

-Pete Carroll: He's the guy that spends all week hyping up your party to everyone he knows. When the party starts, he is late. You get annoyed with him, only to realize he was late because he was bringing 20 of the most attractive people of your preferred gender with him. Somebody has to pick them all up. He's also the first one over the next morning to help you clean the place up.

-Bob Stoops: He says that he'll be in charge of getting the beer. All week long, he sends you descriptions (with pictures!) of all the different types he is going to get in huge amounts. Then the party rolls around, and he has a six pack of Natty Light.

-Bobby Bowden- He shows up first, but eventually, you ask him to leave "for the good of the party." Three people are pissed at you for asking him to leave when "He's the whole reason we have a party in the first place!" And everyone else wants him gone. He refuses to leave, saying he will when he's damn good and ready.

-Les Miles: He's kind of awkward, so he plays it off by being a jackass to everyone. Arm punches, sarcasm, the works. But it's only because he doesn't really know how to fit in.

-Urban Meyer: He spends the week telling you that your party is the only one he wants to go to. Twenty minutes in, he gets a call from another friend at a different party, and immediately leaves.

-Steve Sarkisian: He's just so damn happy to be at your party.

-Lane Kiffin: He's the loud mouth who eventually gets the cops called on your party. Turns out, he shouldn't have been yelling at the old couple across the street for no reason.

-Robb Akey: In addition to coming through when Stoops forgets the beer, he is also the party machine. Brings great music, has some great jokes for everybody, the works. He also outdrinks everyone else by a factor of ten.

-Chris Peterson: Doesn't say much, or really do a whole lot. The next day, he talks about how happy he is that everyone had a good time, and you know he's being genuine about it.

-Joe Paterno: Tells a bunch of really old hilarious stories, but has to be in bed by 10. The party starts at 11.

-Chris Ault: Calls time out three times in the first quarter and then... Oh, right, party... Uhhhhhhhhh.... He sucks, don't invite him.

So, AngryFootballReaders, here we have a list of some of the biggest (and other) names in coaching! Who would you invite to your party? Or, who did I leave out? Send an e-mail to and if any responses are received, they will be run at a later date! Until later this week!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dome Cooking- NCAA Week 5 News and Notes

Welcome back sports fans! Have some games to talk about, plus a special breaking the silence on the topic of BSU. Also, I have a rant for you! How lucky you are to be reading this! What a special time for you this must be! Anyway, on with the show!

-So, Michigan lost to Michigan State. This is funny, because Michigan State is not very good. Also because interceptions in overtime are a hilarious way to lose a game. See me laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha! But seriously, tough loss for Michigan. However, I have a feeling I'll be regretting saying that next season, when Tate Forcier becomes the next Tim Tebow in the eyes of the media.

-The best part of Minnesota losing to Wisconsin? A Minnesota message board claiming the true victory because not all of Wisconsin's team was out on the field for the National Anthem. When you are taking credit for things that happen off the field in order to claim a win, your program is in trouble.

-So, Stanford leading the Pac-10? Yup, that's actually happening. By dismantling UCLA, they are becoming more and more a legitimate Pac-10 contender, unlike, say... Arizona State (PS Erickson burn in a fire until you are dead!).

-Speaking of the Pac-10, how about Cal shitting the bed early this year? Usually, they have the decency to wait until late October/early November before being terrible. Lucky for USC and Oregon, they started early this season. This means that the conference will probably come down to one of USC/Oregon/Stanford (holy shit does that last one feel weird to type).

-LSU beat Georgia thanks to an amazing last couple minutes, and a horrid Excessive Celebration call. More on this after the game reviews.

-So, breaking my silence to talk about BSU for a moment... Wow. After talking to several people who were at the game, the conclusion has been (and keep in mind Angry Haters, this is not coming from me) that if they play another game like that, kiss the BCS chances goodbye. It probably isn't a good sign for your team when, for whatever reason, an FCS school holds you to over 100 fewer yards rushing than you've been averaging. The drop in the rankings is probably well deserved (again, not me talking, since I'll be damned if I'm watching a BSU game), and the Broncos better be careful from here on out, because now the precedent has been set for them to drop after ugly wins. Oh, and my personal favorite part? The fact that most of the fans I talked to mentioned how disgusted they were by BSU fans booing their own team. I can understand that if say, you call a timeout that the OTHER team needs (hey Purdue, way to give that game to Notre Dame!). Having a hard time thinking of any other circumstances where it is even close to acceptable.

-Ok, so, on to the game that everyone has been expecting me to talk about. Oregon State and Arizona State. This was a game that nope I'm not going to continue with this joke.

-So, Idaho against Colorado State. Aside from the chucklefuckery that was the ESPNU announcers, this was a terrific game. Both teams played well, there were some great big plays (Shiloh Keo could have my children any day of the week and twice on Sunday). This is a huge win for the Vandals, who are now 4-1. This is a program that is on the up. I'm not saying I think they will win out this season, but I do think that they will be bowl eligible by season's end (PS: Mom, if they go to the Hawaii Bowl, I know what I want for Christmas!). And really, the more teams we have in the WAC that are capable of playing like this, the better it is for the conference as a whole.

-Funniest part of the Vandal victory: The Idaho Statesman website has a comments section, which I've previously referred to as an area where brain cells go to die. This was illustrated best by a comment left by a BSU fan on the article about Idaho winning (or Brian Murphy's article about them doing better than anyone expected this year, I forget). Now, I'm doing this from memory, so it might not be word for word accurate, but I'm sure you will all get the point: "Idaho is a terrible team. UC Davis would kill them. And their schedule is a joke! They don't even play any ranked teams this year!"

I'll just go ahead and let that sink in for a moment.

Fucking moron.

-Cheers of the Week: USC, Idaho, Michigan State, My grandpa's margaritas

-Jeers of the Week: BSU, ESPNU announcers, Idiot fans who boo their own team, UCLA "football", excessive celebration penalties 99% of the time.

Ok, so here is my aforementioned rant about Excessive Celebration penalties. They are terrible. They can change a game's outcome (UW-BYU last year, Georgia-LSU this year) for something that has NO EFFECT ON THE FUCKING GAME. Seriously, is a player who just made a big play, say... a game winning touchdown, who then puts his finger to his lips in the "Shhhhh" motion really deserving of 15 yards on the kickoff? Absolutely not.

It's getting to the point where fans are getting nervous after every single play, thinking that it might be taken back by a yellow-happy zebra who is too in love with his own voice for the good of the game. If it keeps up like this, it may not be long until you aren't allowed to show any positive emotion on the field without risking a game changing penalty.

These penalties have a time and a place. If a team is taking an insane amount of time celebrating something, flag it. If a player is taunting the other team or their fans, flag it. Anything else, and keep that god damn flag in your pants.

God forbid a 19-22 year old kid get excited about winning a game.

Anyway, that's all for this week. Hope to see you back here next week, same Angry Time, same Angry Channel!