Well, I think that title reveals my thoughts this week, so let's get this started.
-First, apologies for missing week 3. Not many though, because really, what could I talk about? Nevada dominating Cal? Nebraska ruining Jake Locker's future? Fire Brewster?
-Alright, I'll start in on my big rant while my blood is all angried up. Chris Rainey, Florida "star" player, was suspended recently from the team for texting an ex-girlfriend "Time to die bitch". Notice how I say suspended, not kicked off there.
Now, this goes well with Urban Meyer's comments about how he "doesn't run a dirty team." This despite 30 arrests since his arrival at UF.
Now, I'm not saying that Urban meyer is actively encouraging his players to break the law. What I am saying is that he is an asshole with zero care of discipline while his team is winning. He is an ass. An absolute ass.
You don't see other big programs having issues with things like this. You don't hear about players for Ohio State, or Oklahoma, or Texas or the like committing major crimes (every team has misdemeanor issues). You know why?
Because those coaches actually give a shit about team discipline. Meyer? Well, given how he has been reluctant to punish even acts that would count as felony assault (see the Eye Gouge incident from last year), I think it is safe to say that his players feel able to do whatever they want.
And why shouldn't they? Urban clearly will do merely the minimum. And the Florida justice system isn't a whole lot better, since Rainey's punishment is a donation of $100 to a women's protection group.
That brings up a larger point about big time football teams in general. Go ahead, move to Florida, and text an ex the same thing that Rainey did. Let me know what the jails are like.
-So, Nebraska... I don't know how they can crush Washington one week and the next struggle with an FCS team, but they found a way. I'd be more worried about how they are going to win the Big 12 South this year, but...
-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TEXAS! How in the blue Hell do you lose to UCLA at home? How do you lose to UCLA at home that badly?
I'll tell you how. Pac-10 supremacy.
-Speaking of Big XII South, Oklahoma barely escaped against 1-3 Cincinnati. This makes the Red River Shootout next weekend (Don't EVER call it the Red River Rivalry or I will castrate you) even more of a circus than the past couple years have been.
-Notre Dame is 1-3. Also, my browser's spellcheck doesn't consider "Notre" a real word. What I am gettingat here is that ND isn't a real team.
-Oregon beat ASU pretty awesomely (Go to Hell Erickson). How cool is it that Oregon-Stanford is this weekend? Truly, Thor is smiling on us.
Heisman Ballot, Week 4
1. Denard Robinson, University of Michigan and most exciting player in NCAA football
2. Colin Kaepernick, University of Nevada
3. Ndamukong Suh (yeah, still on this bandwagon) Detroit Lions
4. Korey Bell, Capital High School
5. Nobody else but it will probably go to some crappy running back
Anyway, that's all I've got for this week. Next week, I'm not sure... Perhaps a bit of LIVEBLOGGING.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
James Madison's best work since the Federalist Papers: NCAA Week 2 News and Notes
Hello sportsfans! Welcome to another exciting edition of me, the Angry Football Nerd! Lots of great stuff to talk about this week! Upsets ahoy, and the return of my Heisman ballot!
-Alright, starting with the West Virginia-Marshall game. While it would have been amazing for Marshall to win on the 40th anniversary of the plane crash as depicted in the semi-popular film "We Are Marshall" (which the AFN cried during, but I cry during all sports movies, and if you don't like that, bite me), that game perfectly showed the usual difference between big time programs and small time programs. Personally, I was cheering for the Thundering Herd, but after that comeback, WVU showed that they deserve it.
-And then came Saturday. Starting off with the Kansas-GT game.... WHAT THE HELL?! How do you lose to NORTH DAKOTA STATE (Apparently the worse of the two ND teams according to espn) and then make Georgia Tech look like fools? Kansas is probably the most two faced team this (very young) season.
-Minnesota lost to South Dakota State. This is a week after almost losing to Middle Tennessee State. Next they play USC, then northern Illinois. Then the Big Ten. Minnesota is going to go 1-11 this year. This is a reminder that they signed HC Tim Brewster to an extension last season.
-On a related note, Fire Brewster.
-USCar beat Georgia because Marcus Lattimore is going to be the Heisman runner-up this year. Oops, did I just spoil some of my Heisman Ballot? Yeah, well...
-And finally, the namesake of this week's blog update. James Madison beating Virginia Tech. At Virginia Tech. Now, again, sometimes a loss to an FCS school isn't the death knell for a program (again, see Michigan vs. Appalachian State). But in this case? Well, Starting 0-2 is a whole lot worse than starting 0-1, especially for a team that was expected to compete for the National Title. Their saving grace? The rest of the ACC doesn't look so hot. Expect Virginia Tech to go to the Orange Bowl and get beat by an at-large team pretty handily.
-Also, thanks to VT for reminding us why Monday games should be followed by a bye week, instead of even a cupcake game.
-That ragging on the ACC is deserved. How about those non-efforts from Florida State (Welcome back Oklahoma, I'm looking forward to seeing you get crushed by every big team you have the rest of this year) and Miami? Granted, Miami would have probably fared better if Jacory Harris (oddly enough, my spellcheck doesn't recognize Jacory as a word) hadn't thrown somewhere in the neighborhood of a trillion interceptions. But really, for all the ragging on the Big Ten, it looks like the ACC deserves it more this year.
-Notre Dame-Michigan. First off, a moment of silence for those of us who were unable to stomach the NBC announcers. Hint idiots: If you flat out call someone on one of the teams terrible, you are biased enough that you should lose your job. Anyway! So, how awesome is Denard Robinson, QB for Michigan? He is so awesome that he personally has more yards this season than 80+ teams. That awesome. As of right now, the scale is no longer 1 to 10. It is Virginia Tech to Denard Robinson.
-Well, Alabama and Penn State went about exactly how it was predicted to go. Thankfully, there were no injuries. Funnily enough, if you replace "Alabama and Penn State" with "Nebraska and Idaho", this section still applies, saving me valuable Jets watching time.
-What is Oregon's deal? They go to Knoxville, play like a junior high team (a decent junior high team, to be sure) in the first half, then come out at halftime and absolutely explode with talent and plays. I don't know if I should put them as a lock for the Pac-10 crown, or a lock for the middle of the Pac (see what I did there?).
-Speaking of Pac-10, how bad is WSU? So bad that they need a comeback on the last drive to win by 1. Against Montana State. Which begs the question, what would have happened if they played Montana? My guess? COMEDY! And something like a 49-7 loss for the Cougars.
-Also, you know who is scary? Actual Cougars. Am I talking about the large feral cat, or middle aged women at bars? Both, my friends, both.
-Fire Brewster
-Stanford is going to be a legitimate threat for a long time. You heard it here first, folks (assuming that you haven't listened to or watched ESPN in the past two year).
-So, how screwed is USC? Sure, they are 2-0. After letting Hawaii put 600 yards on them in week one and squeaking by Virginia 17-14 week two. Is Lane Kiffin the worst BCS team coach? Well, no, but that is only because Tim Brewster is still employed. Granted, going to Minnesota SHOULD help, but despite my earlier prediction of the Gophers going 1-11, somehow beating USC wouldn't surprise me. And would also ensure that Brewster is still employed come this time three seasons from now. Anyway, USC is looking at the bottom half of the Pac-10 this year.
ANGRY FOOTBALL HEISMAN STANDINGS
1. Denard Robinson
2. Marcus Lattimore
3. Terrele Pryor
4. Ndamukong Suh (if they give Reggie Bush's Heisman to Vince Young, then they should absolutely do this)
5. Bryan McMartin
Alright angry football fans, that is all for this week. You know the drill by this point: same time next week. E-mails go to angryfootballnerd@gmail.com for a timely (NOT) response.
-Alright, starting with the West Virginia-Marshall game. While it would have been amazing for Marshall to win on the 40th anniversary of the plane crash as depicted in the semi-popular film "We Are Marshall" (which the AFN cried during, but I cry during all sports movies, and if you don't like that, bite me), that game perfectly showed the usual difference between big time programs and small time programs. Personally, I was cheering for the Thundering Herd, but after that comeback, WVU showed that they deserve it.
-And then came Saturday. Starting off with the Kansas-GT game.... WHAT THE HELL?! How do you lose to NORTH DAKOTA STATE (Apparently the worse of the two ND teams according to espn) and then make Georgia Tech look like fools? Kansas is probably the most two faced team this (very young) season.
-Minnesota lost to South Dakota State. This is a week after almost losing to Middle Tennessee State. Next they play USC, then northern Illinois. Then the Big Ten. Minnesota is going to go 1-11 this year. This is a reminder that they signed HC Tim Brewster to an extension last season.
-On a related note, Fire Brewster.
-USCar beat Georgia because Marcus Lattimore is going to be the Heisman runner-up this year. Oops, did I just spoil some of my Heisman Ballot? Yeah, well...
-And finally, the namesake of this week's blog update. James Madison beating Virginia Tech. At Virginia Tech. Now, again, sometimes a loss to an FCS school isn't the death knell for a program (again, see Michigan vs. Appalachian State). But in this case? Well, Starting 0-2 is a whole lot worse than starting 0-1, especially for a team that was expected to compete for the National Title. Their saving grace? The rest of the ACC doesn't look so hot. Expect Virginia Tech to go to the Orange Bowl and get beat by an at-large team pretty handily.
-Also, thanks to VT for reminding us why Monday games should be followed by a bye week, instead of even a cupcake game.
-That ragging on the ACC is deserved. How about those non-efforts from Florida State (Welcome back Oklahoma, I'm looking forward to seeing you get crushed by every big team you have the rest of this year) and Miami? Granted, Miami would have probably fared better if Jacory Harris (oddly enough, my spellcheck doesn't recognize Jacory as a word) hadn't thrown somewhere in the neighborhood of a trillion interceptions. But really, for all the ragging on the Big Ten, it looks like the ACC deserves it more this year.
-Notre Dame-Michigan. First off, a moment of silence for those of us who were unable to stomach the NBC announcers. Hint idiots: If you flat out call someone on one of the teams terrible, you are biased enough that you should lose your job. Anyway! So, how awesome is Denard Robinson, QB for Michigan? He is so awesome that he personally has more yards this season than 80+ teams. That awesome. As of right now, the scale is no longer 1 to 10. It is Virginia Tech to Denard Robinson.
-Well, Alabama and Penn State went about exactly how it was predicted to go. Thankfully, there were no injuries. Funnily enough, if you replace "Alabama and Penn State" with "Nebraska and Idaho", this section still applies, saving me valuable Jets watching time.
-What is Oregon's deal? They go to Knoxville, play like a junior high team (a decent junior high team, to be sure) in the first half, then come out at halftime and absolutely explode with talent and plays. I don't know if I should put them as a lock for the Pac-10 crown, or a lock for the middle of the Pac (see what I did there?).
-Speaking of Pac-10, how bad is WSU? So bad that they need a comeback on the last drive to win by 1. Against Montana State. Which begs the question, what would have happened if they played Montana? My guess? COMEDY! And something like a 49-7 loss for the Cougars.
-Also, you know who is scary? Actual Cougars. Am I talking about the large feral cat, or middle aged women at bars? Both, my friends, both.
-Fire Brewster
-Stanford is going to be a legitimate threat for a long time. You heard it here first, folks (assuming that you haven't listened to or watched ESPN in the past two year).
-So, how screwed is USC? Sure, they are 2-0. After letting Hawaii put 600 yards on them in week one and squeaking by Virginia 17-14 week two. Is Lane Kiffin the worst BCS team coach? Well, no, but that is only because Tim Brewster is still employed. Granted, going to Minnesota SHOULD help, but despite my earlier prediction of the Gophers going 1-11, somehow beating USC wouldn't surprise me. And would also ensure that Brewster is still employed come this time three seasons from now. Anyway, USC is looking at the bottom half of the Pac-10 this year.
ANGRY FOOTBALL HEISMAN STANDINGS
1. Denard Robinson
2. Marcus Lattimore
3. Terrele Pryor
4. Ndamukong Suh (if they give Reggie Bush's Heisman to Vince Young, then they should absolutely do this)
5. Bryan McMartin
Alright angry football fans, that is all for this week. You know the drill by this point: same time next week. E-mails go to angryfootballnerd@gmail.com for a timely (NOT) response.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
If I may be serious for a moment
There is a plague in college football. No, it isn't Lou Holth's marble mouth, or Mark May's... Mark May. It isn't idiot commentators who try to make mountains out of molehills and only care about the ratings. It isn't zebras who throw the flag at the slightest provocation (You dare to be happy after a touchdown? 15 yards!).
It isn't even the BCS (saving that one for later this season).
No, it is the NCAA.
The NCAA is actively doing what it can to hurt college football, all under the guise of helping. Let's discuss this on the basis of a couple cases.
1. USC and Reggie Bush
Now, yes, I am far from unbiased. But, I'm going to approach this as calmly and rationally as I can.
So, Reggie Bush took money and benefits while a student-athlete at USC. This is a clear violation of the rules.
So, naturally, we should punish the current coaches and players. Since they are the ones who dared to be there while this stuff was happening years ago, right? I mean, Matt Barkley definitely knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that a player who was there while he was in junior high and high school was doing something unbecoming of a student athlete! It only makes sense to ban him for two years from the postseason (as well as every other player on the team). And hey, why the hell not? Let's take away scholarships so that some kids can't go to college and better their lives (A reduction of scholarships at ANY school has a domino effect). All because something that happened long ago was bad.
2. Jeremiah Masoli and AJ Green, with a side of Dez Bryant
Ahhhhhhhhh, Jeremiah Masoli. Now, here is a good, upstanding citizen. He deserves to have a continued career in college and then the NFL. All he did was rob some people and run from the police! Boys will be boys.
AJ Green, on the other hand, is pure scum. How dare he sell a jersey of his! That rat bastard! The only people who deserve to make money off of AJ Green's hard work are the University of Georgia and the NCAA!
Dez Bryant? Dinner at the same location as an agent?! What a jerk! How could he even think that this is remotely ok?
Clearly, in the eyes of the NCAA, it is much better to ROB AND FLEE FROM JUSTICE than it is for an agent to (potentially) buy you a hamburger, or to make a couple extra bucks selling something that only has worth because of you.
I could go on like this, but I'm getting hungry, so I'll be wrapping it up. The NCAA is actively doing the wrong thing. It is harming players, coaches, and teams that are merely bystanders (Hey idiots! MAKE BUSH PAY THE MONEY BACK!) to circumstances beyond their control. And they are doing it with a smile on their face, all the while assuring us that it is "for the best."
Should we pay college athletes? That is a debate for another day (but yes, they should). Should we punish athletes for preparing for their future while in college (imagine if they told you that you or your child couldn't talk to an adviser at any point during their collegiate career)?
It doesn't take a lot to see where I stand on these topics.
What about you?
It isn't even the BCS (saving that one for later this season).
No, it is the NCAA.
The NCAA is actively doing what it can to hurt college football, all under the guise of helping. Let's discuss this on the basis of a couple cases.
1. USC and Reggie Bush
Now, yes, I am far from unbiased. But, I'm going to approach this as calmly and rationally as I can.
So, Reggie Bush took money and benefits while a student-athlete at USC. This is a clear violation of the rules.
So, naturally, we should punish the current coaches and players. Since they are the ones who dared to be there while this stuff was happening years ago, right? I mean, Matt Barkley definitely knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that a player who was there while he was in junior high and high school was doing something unbecoming of a student athlete! It only makes sense to ban him for two years from the postseason (as well as every other player on the team). And hey, why the hell not? Let's take away scholarships so that some kids can't go to college and better their lives (A reduction of scholarships at ANY school has a domino effect). All because something that happened long ago was bad.
2. Jeremiah Masoli and AJ Green, with a side of Dez Bryant
Ahhhhhhhhh, Jeremiah Masoli. Now, here is a good, upstanding citizen. He deserves to have a continued career in college and then the NFL. All he did was rob some people and run from the police! Boys will be boys.
AJ Green, on the other hand, is pure scum. How dare he sell a jersey of his! That rat bastard! The only people who deserve to make money off of AJ Green's hard work are the University of Georgia and the NCAA!
Dez Bryant? Dinner at the same location as an agent?! What a jerk! How could he even think that this is remotely ok?
Clearly, in the eyes of the NCAA, it is much better to ROB AND FLEE FROM JUSTICE than it is for an agent to (potentially) buy you a hamburger, or to make a couple extra bucks selling something that only has worth because of you.
I could go on like this, but I'm getting hungry, so I'll be wrapping it up. The NCAA is actively doing the wrong thing. It is harming players, coaches, and teams that are merely bystanders (Hey idiots! MAKE BUSH PAY THE MONEY BACK!) to circumstances beyond their control. And they are doing it with a smile on their face, all the while assuring us that it is "for the best."
Should we pay college athletes? That is a debate for another day (but yes, they should). Should we punish athletes for preparing for their future while in college (imagine if they told you that you or your child couldn't talk to an adviser at any point during their collegiate career)?
It doesn't take a lot to see where I stand on these topics.
What about you?
Monday, September 6, 2010
We finally made it! NCAA Week 1 news and notes
We are finally here, sportsfans. We made it through the darkness of the offseason, which saw multiple NCAA sanctions handed down to various programs (more on that later), the most awesome Fulmer Cup in recent memory (Congrats Georgia!), and a conference apocalypse tease that ended up seeing nothing like what we all wanted happening. But, you've all already read about that, so let's just get to the games!
-Idaho opened the season at home for the first time in years, and absolutely slaughtered North Dakota 45-0 (which was the same score the last time the two met). There were a couple issues, namely the O-Line needing to stop being made out of wet tissue paper and getting called multiple times for encroachment (which is, in fact, the dumbest penalty that you can commit). Of course, since next week sees the Vandals at Nebraska, who knows what this could mean for the season. Personally, I'm just hoping for no injuries.
-USC and Hawaii was pretty interesting. We all know that going to the island tends to mess with teams a bit. But messing with you to the point where a WAC team puts up 600 yards on you? Yeeeeeesh. That should be "fun" for USC in conference play.
-Arizona killed Toledo Friday night. This isn't notable, except for one little thing. Last year, Toledo beat Colorado handily. And somehow, Dan Hawkins is still employed by CU.
-Speaking of CU, the annual game against Colorado State was Saturday. Nothing of note, except this little tidbit. Before it was announced that Cody Hawkins would not be starting for CU, the spread was in CSU's favor by 14 points. After that announcement? It swung the other way. Interesting how when Hawkins didn't start his son, people suddenly viewed his team as legitimately decent.
-Penn State started a true freshman at quarterback, which lead to a shakey first half. Honestly, it looked like Youngstown State might pull off the upset. And then suddenly, with a couple minutes left in the 2nd, PSU found their groove. Will they be able to survive the rest of the season, including a trip to Alabama next Saturday? Who knows. But their chances are definitely looking a little bit better after that second half.
-I'm not going to cover the variety of blowouts by OSU, Florida State, Miami, Bama et al. Individually at least. I will address their scheduling in a rant in a bit.
- TCU status: Still really good.
-Fresno State beat Cincy pretty easily. Cincy, who had an 18 game regular season winning streak. Seriously, the Big East is a BCS conference, why?
On Schedules and Week One
So, with most of week one behind us, we have seen the two different styles of scheduling that are most prominent in FBS football. There is the cupcake game, like Idaho having UND come visit (holy crap does it feel good to say that). Then, there is the marquee game, like Oregon State-TCU. Both have advantages and disadvantages.
Advantages of a cupcake game:
-Time to work out any kinks that may appear in a relatively safe environment.
-Mental boost from starting the season with a W, which can be quite powerful.
Disadvantages of a cupcake game:
-If you lose you are screwed in perception for the rest of the season, no matter how things actually turn out. For example, do you remember what happened to Michigan the year Appalachian State beat them at home in the season opener? Most people’s answer: They went 3-9. Actual answer: They beat the University of Florida Fightin Tebow’s in the Sun Bowl. So, not the best thing, but not nearly as bad as what people think.
-The mental block of knowing that a team you should have manhandled beat you. Only time will tell how Kansas and Ole Miss will recover from their losses to FCS teams.
Advantages of a marquee game:
-Exposure. This goes even more for neutral location games. You can’t tell me that Oregon State didn’t impress some Texas recruits, even if they lost.
-Money. Does this really need to be elaborated on?
Disadvantages of a Marquee game:
-Loss of positive perception if you are one of the later day games. Read some football forums right now. People hate both VT and BSU, purely because they have been having them shoved down their throats every five minutes. Granted, this is a pretty minor problem, since it self-corrects within 6 days.
-Hope your team is ready for the season from day one, because you have absolutely no time to work out any problems during the game. This can be a very bad situation, especially if you are/were a potential NC contender.
So, there are convincing reasons for both scheduling types, and really, there is no right answer for any individual team. Personally, I love the couple of great games we get each year to balance out the POWERHOUSE VERSUS EAST ASSHOLE MISSOURI. Of course, it is a lot more fun when EAM beats the powerhouse…
Anyway, that’s all for this week. Look forward to next week, when the most amazing day of football in recent memory happens. PS: Don’t call me, I’m not answering from 10 AM-11 PM.
-Idaho opened the season at home for the first time in years, and absolutely slaughtered North Dakota 45-0 (which was the same score the last time the two met). There were a couple issues, namely the O-Line needing to stop being made out of wet tissue paper and getting called multiple times for encroachment (which is, in fact, the dumbest penalty that you can commit). Of course, since next week sees the Vandals at Nebraska, who knows what this could mean for the season. Personally, I'm just hoping for no injuries.
-USC and Hawaii was pretty interesting. We all know that going to the island tends to mess with teams a bit. But messing with you to the point where a WAC team puts up 600 yards on you? Yeeeeeesh. That should be "fun" for USC in conference play.
-Arizona killed Toledo Friday night. This isn't notable, except for one little thing. Last year, Toledo beat Colorado handily. And somehow, Dan Hawkins is still employed by CU.
-Speaking of CU, the annual game against Colorado State was Saturday. Nothing of note, except this little tidbit. Before it was announced that Cody Hawkins would not be starting for CU, the spread was in CSU's favor by 14 points. After that announcement? It swung the other way. Interesting how when Hawkins didn't start his son, people suddenly viewed his team as legitimately decent.
-Penn State started a true freshman at quarterback, which lead to a shakey first half. Honestly, it looked like Youngstown State might pull off the upset. And then suddenly, with a couple minutes left in the 2nd, PSU found their groove. Will they be able to survive the rest of the season, including a trip to Alabama next Saturday? Who knows. But their chances are definitely looking a little bit better after that second half.
-I'm not going to cover the variety of blowouts by OSU, Florida State, Miami, Bama et al. Individually at least. I will address their scheduling in a rant in a bit.
- TCU status: Still really good.
-Fresno State beat Cincy pretty easily. Cincy, who had an 18 game regular season winning streak. Seriously, the Big East is a BCS conference, why?
On Schedules and Week One
So, with most of week one behind us, we have seen the two different styles of scheduling that are most prominent in FBS football. There is the cupcake game, like Idaho having UND come visit (holy crap does it feel good to say that). Then, there is the marquee game, like Oregon State-TCU. Both have advantages and disadvantages.
Advantages of a cupcake game:
-Time to work out any kinks that may appear in a relatively safe environment.
-Mental boost from starting the season with a W, which can be quite powerful.
Disadvantages of a cupcake game:
-If you lose you are screwed in perception for the rest of the season, no matter how things actually turn out. For example, do you remember what happened to Michigan the year Appalachian State beat them at home in the season opener? Most people’s answer: They went 3-9. Actual answer: They beat the University of Florida Fightin Tebow’s in the Sun Bowl. So, not the best thing, but not nearly as bad as what people think.
-The mental block of knowing that a team you should have manhandled beat you. Only time will tell how Kansas and Ole Miss will recover from their losses to FCS teams.
Advantages of a marquee game:
-Exposure. This goes even more for neutral location games. You can’t tell me that Oregon State didn’t impress some Texas recruits, even if they lost.
-Money. Does this really need to be elaborated on?
Disadvantages of a Marquee game:
-Loss of positive perception if you are one of the later day games. Read some football forums right now. People hate both VT and BSU, purely because they have been having them shoved down their throats every five minutes. Granted, this is a pretty minor problem, since it self-corrects within 6 days.
-Hope your team is ready for the season from day one, because you have absolutely no time to work out any problems during the game. This can be a very bad situation, especially if you are/were a potential NC contender.
So, there are convincing reasons for both scheduling types, and really, there is no right answer for any individual team. Personally, I love the couple of great games we get each year to balance out the POWERHOUSE VERSUS EAST ASSHOLE MISSOURI. Of course, it is a lot more fun when EAM beats the powerhouse…
Anyway, that’s all for this week. Look forward to next week, when the most amazing day of football in recent memory happens. PS: Don’t call me, I’m not answering from 10 AM-11 PM.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I would hate to be Brian Murphy's child
The Location: The Home of Brian Murphy, Sports"writer" for the Idaho Statesman.
The Time: Christmas Eve
Son: Merry Christmas, Papa!
BM: Why is it so merry?
Son: Papa? What's wrong? Why do you look like a broken husk of a man?
BM: Well, I wrote a wretched article a few months ago.
Son: Well Papa, I would think you would be used to that by now! What was so bad about this one?
BM: You see, back during round 2 of the college football conference apocalypse, I talked about the University of Idaho, and I said some pretty stupid things.
Son: Like what Papa?
BM: Well, I started ripping into their AD and the President of the University for showing optimism. They were trying to make the most of an admittedly crappy situation, and I compared them to all sorts of things. I also managed to find it in my "talent" to make fun of elementary students and their accomplishments. Basically, I wrote like a world class jackass.
Son: Oh, I see... Well, at least Santa is coming tonight!
BM: Santa isn't real, idiot. Stop trying to be happy!
Alright, I think I've made my point here. But, in the style of Brain Murphy, let me belabor it a bit more.
Murphy wrote a terrible article. I'm not going to link to it here, since that would require going to the Idaho Statesman website and I accidentally already did that earlier today. Where I read the comments on this article. Which included a U of I fan saying "Good luck to the Broncos in the MWC" and being ripped apart by the next three posters. But I digress.
Anyway, the point of the article was essentially what my delightful little one-man play above was about (coming to theaters this Winter, starring a hobo on the street corner). Murphy was tearing apart Idaho and the administration for trying to put a happy face on a terrible situation. He also found it within his large self (I am assuming, from the headshot that appears next to his articles, that he is a big fat dude) to mock elementary students.
This is the part that really pisses me off, and I am going to focus on for the rest of this update. Because frankly, the rest of the article isn't worth my (or your) time. He said that "winning a championship in the new WAC is like winning the fifth grade three-legged race. Here's your ribbon. What next?"
Clearly, Mr. Murphy, you have never been around children. Stuff like that? It IS a big deal to them. You have never seen a child's face light up when they accomplish the achievements that must seem minor to such a distinguished athlete such as yourself.
Last Spring, I had the fortune to attend a couple of track meets. At one of them, a student did something amazing. He managed to finish third in his race (and before you and your hatred of good try to ruin this, there were more than three students racing). He had never even come close to the top previously. And he clutched that ribbon like it was his most prized possession. So what if it wasn't the almighty Fiesta Bowl trophy? To him it was as good as.
Mr. Murphy (and I'm forcing myself to use Mr. here, as there are several other things I would rather call you, but I promised my mother I would cut back on the potty mouth this season), go ahead and mock the University of Idaho. Go ahead and expose yourself for the ignorant, character-less ass that you are. Hell, go ahead and make fun of me in an article, since that seems to be what you and your audience lap up, and we all know that making it big as a writer in Boise is one step away from Pulitzers. I'm not a violent person by nature, although I might beat you at Street Fighter.
But if you ever, and I do mean EVER mock elementary students again for their accomplishments, well... I'm willing to give violence a chance.
The Time: Christmas Eve
Son: Merry Christmas, Papa!
BM: Why is it so merry?
Son: Papa? What's wrong? Why do you look like a broken husk of a man?
BM: Well, I wrote a wretched article a few months ago.
Son: Well Papa, I would think you would be used to that by now! What was so bad about this one?
BM: You see, back during round 2 of the college football conference apocalypse, I talked about the University of Idaho, and I said some pretty stupid things.
Son: Like what Papa?
BM: Well, I started ripping into their AD and the President of the University for showing optimism. They were trying to make the most of an admittedly crappy situation, and I compared them to all sorts of things. I also managed to find it in my "talent" to make fun of elementary students and their accomplishments. Basically, I wrote like a world class jackass.
Son: Oh, I see... Well, at least Santa is coming tonight!
BM: Santa isn't real, idiot. Stop trying to be happy!
Alright, I think I've made my point here. But, in the style of Brain Murphy, let me belabor it a bit more.
Murphy wrote a terrible article. I'm not going to link to it here, since that would require going to the Idaho Statesman website and I accidentally already did that earlier today. Where I read the comments on this article. Which included a U of I fan saying "Good luck to the Broncos in the MWC" and being ripped apart by the next three posters. But I digress.
Anyway, the point of the article was essentially what my delightful little one-man play above was about (coming to theaters this Winter, starring a hobo on the street corner). Murphy was tearing apart Idaho and the administration for trying to put a happy face on a terrible situation. He also found it within his large self (I am assuming, from the headshot that appears next to his articles, that he is a big fat dude) to mock elementary students.
This is the part that really pisses me off, and I am going to focus on for the rest of this update. Because frankly, the rest of the article isn't worth my (or your) time. He said that "winning a championship in the new WAC is like winning the fifth grade three-legged race. Here's your ribbon. What next?"
Clearly, Mr. Murphy, you have never been around children. Stuff like that? It IS a big deal to them. You have never seen a child's face light up when they accomplish the achievements that must seem minor to such a distinguished athlete such as yourself.
Last Spring, I had the fortune to attend a couple of track meets. At one of them, a student did something amazing. He managed to finish third in his race (and before you and your hatred of good try to ruin this, there were more than three students racing). He had never even come close to the top previously. And he clutched that ribbon like it was his most prized possession. So what if it wasn't the almighty Fiesta Bowl trophy? To him it was as good as.
Mr. Murphy (and I'm forcing myself to use Mr. here, as there are several other things I would rather call you, but I promised my mother I would cut back on the potty mouth this season), go ahead and mock the University of Idaho. Go ahead and expose yourself for the ignorant, character-less ass that you are. Hell, go ahead and make fun of me in an article, since that seems to be what you and your audience lap up, and we all know that making it big as a writer in Boise is one step away from Pulitzers. I'm not a violent person by nature, although I might beat you at Street Fighter.
But if you ever, and I do mean EVER mock elementary students again for their accomplishments, well... I'm willing to give violence a chance.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Nasty and Inebriated
Well, I'm back. After an offseason that saw me swear to never update again, due to a real life event depicting the power of the internet in the hands of batshit insane people, I have decided to break my silence. On what, you are probably (not) asking yourself?
Why, none other than the comments made by Boise State President Bob Kustra regarding the University of Idaho!
Well, to start with, I'm not going to type them out here. You can easily find them, as outside of Oregon losing their entire starting lineup for the next three years due to criminal activity, it has been a slow offseason. Suffice to say, the title of this entry made an appearance in his comments, in regards to the University of Idaho fanbase.
Hey, Whiny Bob! Guess what? To make things easy for you, I am going to make a list of all the rivalries in the history of college football that have seen fans be "mean and nasty" to their opponents.
Oh, I'm not actually going to make that list. You want to know why, faithful reader? I'll let you in on a little secret that Crybobby doesn't want you to know....
Literally EVERY SINGLE RIVALRY EVER has fans like that.
Yes, it's true. Despite What About Bob's insistence that the nationwide rivalries (side note: read his comments again, I'll wait. Focus on what rivalries he talks about, and figure out why it is so funny that he said nationwide. Give up? Theyre all Big-12) he has seen are nothing like this, I promise you that any fan of any team ever will agree that that is how rivalries work.
Now, it isn't all bad. Every single Boise State alumni/student/professor that I have had contact with since Kryin' Kustra's remarks were made public has disagreed with him overwhelmingly. This includes his quarterback Horseface Moore saying on the local news that he thinks it should continue.
Of course, Whiny McWhinesalot's biggest gripe was that U of I fans mock BSU's academics. This is interesting to me. Because, during my graduation from BSU (that's right angryfootballfans, I actually graduated from that school), the Petulant President himself gave a speech. Now, usually at college graduations, when the head honcho talks, they focus on academics.
Rude Robert, however, mentioned academics a whopping 0 times. This is because he had to fit in his 4 references to the football team and the Fiesta Bowl. I mean, this does make sense, because the total number of football players (recognizable ones, anyway) that were graduating was far larger than the numbers of non football players. Assuming, of course, that the one player graduating was literally the only graduate. But I have a sheet of paper not two feet from me that proves otherwise. And some of you might think "Well, there is no way he actually counted those references," my response to you is that you don't know me very well.
Hey Kustra (and you can tell I'm serious because I'm using your real name here), I'm going to offer some free advice. When you yourself are basically disregarding academics, it looks absurd when you whine about someone else making fun of them. Maybe next time you could talk about something besides football. But then, I guess that would require your school to give money to something besides football, and we all know that isn't happening.
I could go on for hours (and I have with several people in real life), but instead, I'm just going to make a quick point here, since I'm running out of clever nicknames for President Tears.
The hypocrisy inherent in bitching for years about "All these schools aren't scheduling us because they say they have nothing to gain" and then turning around and refusing to play your in-state rival like a three year old not wanting to take a nap is hilarious.
Of course, I guess I shouldn't complain too much, since Kustra throwing away what goodwill people felt towards BSU (and if you don't believe this, you haven't read any o the myriad espn/SI articles about this) makes my job a whole lot more entertaining.
Anyway, that's all I'm going to say on this matter. Soon, I will have a season preview up, complete with some conference and bowl game predictions! Look forward to it, angryfootballfans!
Like the article? Hate the article? Feel free to e-mail me at angryfootballnerd@gmail.com where I will ignore your comments for months at a time!
Why, none other than the comments made by Boise State President Bob Kustra regarding the University of Idaho!
Well, to start with, I'm not going to type them out here. You can easily find them, as outside of Oregon losing their entire starting lineup for the next three years due to criminal activity, it has been a slow offseason. Suffice to say, the title of this entry made an appearance in his comments, in regards to the University of Idaho fanbase.
Hey, Whiny Bob! Guess what? To make things easy for you, I am going to make a list of all the rivalries in the history of college football that have seen fans be "mean and nasty" to their opponents.
Oh, I'm not actually going to make that list. You want to know why, faithful reader? I'll let you in on a little secret that Crybobby doesn't want you to know....
Literally EVERY SINGLE RIVALRY EVER has fans like that.
Yes, it's true. Despite What About Bob's insistence that the nationwide rivalries (side note: read his comments again, I'll wait. Focus on what rivalries he talks about, and figure out why it is so funny that he said nationwide. Give up? Theyre all Big-12) he has seen are nothing like this, I promise you that any fan of any team ever will agree that that is how rivalries work.
Now, it isn't all bad. Every single Boise State alumni/student/professor that I have had contact with since Kryin' Kustra's remarks were made public has disagreed with him overwhelmingly. This includes his quarterback Horseface Moore saying on the local news that he thinks it should continue.
Of course, Whiny McWhinesalot's biggest gripe was that U of I fans mock BSU's academics. This is interesting to me. Because, during my graduation from BSU (that's right angryfootballfans, I actually graduated from that school), the Petulant President himself gave a speech. Now, usually at college graduations, when the head honcho talks, they focus on academics.
Rude Robert, however, mentioned academics a whopping 0 times. This is because he had to fit in his 4 references to the football team and the Fiesta Bowl. I mean, this does make sense, because the total number of football players (recognizable ones, anyway) that were graduating was far larger than the numbers of non football players. Assuming, of course, that the one player graduating was literally the only graduate. But I have a sheet of paper not two feet from me that proves otherwise. And some of you might think "Well, there is no way he actually counted those references," my response to you is that you don't know me very well.
Hey Kustra (and you can tell I'm serious because I'm using your real name here), I'm going to offer some free advice. When you yourself are basically disregarding academics, it looks absurd when you whine about someone else making fun of them. Maybe next time you could talk about something besides football. But then, I guess that would require your school to give money to something besides football, and we all know that isn't happening.
I could go on for hours (and I have with several people in real life), but instead, I'm just going to make a quick point here, since I'm running out of clever nicknames for President Tears.
The hypocrisy inherent in bitching for years about "All these schools aren't scheduling us because they say they have nothing to gain" and then turning around and refusing to play your in-state rival like a three year old not wanting to take a nap is hilarious.
Of course, I guess I shouldn't complain too much, since Kustra throwing away what goodwill people felt towards BSU (and if you don't believe this, you haven't read any o the myriad espn/SI articles about this) makes my job a whole lot more entertaining.
Anyway, that's all I'm going to say on this matter. Soon, I will have a season preview up, complete with some conference and bowl game predictions! Look forward to it, angryfootballfans!
Like the article? Hate the article? Feel free to e-mail me at angryfootballnerd@gmail.com where I will ignore your comments for months at a time!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
BCS- Bull Champion Shit News and Notes
Hello sports fans, and welcome to yet another edition of my news and notes. Let me start with some bad news. The photo journal promised last week will not go up until next week sometime, as real life concerns have taken most of my time this week. But, on to the good news! You still get a healthy dose of the content you have come to know and love from me, the AngryFootballNerd! This edition sees an anti-BCS rant, as well as predictions for the BCS bowls, and a select other bowl game (like it isn't the Humanitarian Bowl...). So, without wasting any more of your valuable time, here we go!
-So, the SEC championship game. How awesome was it when Tim Tebow was in tears at the end of the game? SO AWESOME. Also, kudos to Nick Saban for being a much better person than his counterpart for Florida would have been were he up that much with the ball at the end of the game. Of course Dickweed Meyer would have kept going, because he is a tool. Anyway, thank you, Florida, for showing us that this emperor was, in fact, wholly without clothes. Gee, guess it turns out that the SEC East wasn't all that strong, if Florida's level of play against the only decent opponent all season is any indication...
-So, Texas should have lost to Nebraska. I'm just saying, when you are totally outplayed like that, you deserve to lose. I give credit for their win to the timekeeper, who, if it were literally ANY other game this entire season (except involving a potential Florida loss) would have let that last second expire and let it stand during review. But come one, we can't have even a chance that the BCS could actually pit the two best teams against each other in the Championship! TCU vs. Alabama would be a most exciting game. Alabama vs. Texas... well, just wait until my predictions.
-Regarding the BCS bowl selection: Hey douchebags, way to give undefeated TCU a shot against a team they beat last year when they look like they could beat literally any college team this year (as well as the Raiders and Cheifs). You know an organization is fucked up when all it can do to try to save face is run a twitter (@InsidetheBCS, follow it for a laugh) that updates up to three times every two weeks with pro-BCS articles (ones that usually show absolute worst case scenarios of playoffs, none of which compares to a single season's issues with the BCS).
Here is a list of sports that use a play-off to determine their champion:
EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SPORT IN THE WORLD EXCEPT COLLEGE FOOTBALL
Let me cut this short before my blood pressure sets a new world record. The BCS system this year has promised us AT LEAST TWO UNDEFEATED TEAMS AT THE END OF THE SEASON, with the possibility for three if Cincy beats Florida. How is that, in any way, acceptable?
Anyway, here are my predictions for the BCS games in no particular order:
Sugar Bowl: On one hand, a coach headed to Notre Dame. On the other hand, a team that has had its legacy so vastly overinflated you could easily power the entire planet with the air force generated from people talking about Tebow (who, by the way, if he wins the Heisman this weekend has single-handedly made that award pointless). Both teams have alternated between looking really good and looking poor, with the only difference being that the games Cincinnati has looked poor in have been against better competition than the Gators. 31-17 Bearcats, but could easily be Gators
Orange Bowl: First off, raise your hand if you give a shit about this game.
Wait, what are all these crickets doing in here? Shoo, shoo!
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah
Rose Bowl: Oregon is a damn good team that likes to score early and often. Ohio State was beaten by the sixth place Pac-10 team at home. 70-14 (the two OSU touchdowns in the last five minutes, with TRESSELBALL demanding no attempts at two point conversions or other such flashy nonsense) Oregon.
Fiesta Bowl: Two undefeated mid-majors. One of whom has looked incredibly impressive against everybody, another who has looked incredibly impressive against bottom 10 teams but has the benefit of being the absolute luckiest fucking team in the world. I predict a final score of 34-21, but I refuse to predict a winner. Also, my sympathies to TCU, who in a year when they have a legitimate claim to playing in the title game, are playing a team they beat last year. Smaller sympathies to BSU, who I was really looking forward to seeing poop themselves against a magical Iowa team (come on, anybody who watched Iowa this season will tell you that them being down by 28 points in the first half is absolutely not a problem).
Humanitarian Bowl: This game should be incredibly high scoring. Like, over 100 total points I think. Anyway, much to the sorrow of the chucklefuck on Caves and Prater who said he would "rather the Taliban win in Afghanistan than Idaho win a bowl game*," infinity-infinity plus 2 Idaho
National Championship: Other than the heart attack that Mack Brown has when Alabama literally kills them, this will be a fairly boring game. I also look forward to him stammering something about beating Oklahoma. 41-3 ROLL TIDE
Anyway, the photo-journal of my trip to the USC-Arizona game should be up next week, along with some "classic" reposts, including the much fabled drinking game. Also, the special "Dumbest Moments of the Season" should run sometime during bowl season, depending on when the new AngryFootballHeadquarters gets internet access. Until then, enjoy the cold as balls weather!
*You know, I hate Boise State. But I certainly don't hate it on the level of wishing that thousands of people would fucking die instead of them winning a game.
-So, the SEC championship game. How awesome was it when Tim Tebow was in tears at the end of the game? SO AWESOME. Also, kudos to Nick Saban for being a much better person than his counterpart for Florida would have been were he up that much with the ball at the end of the game. Of course Dickweed Meyer would have kept going, because he is a tool. Anyway, thank you, Florida, for showing us that this emperor was, in fact, wholly without clothes. Gee, guess it turns out that the SEC East wasn't all that strong, if Florida's level of play against the only decent opponent all season is any indication...
-So, Texas should have lost to Nebraska. I'm just saying, when you are totally outplayed like that, you deserve to lose. I give credit for their win to the timekeeper, who, if it were literally ANY other game this entire season (except involving a potential Florida loss) would have let that last second expire and let it stand during review. But come one, we can't have even a chance that the BCS could actually pit the two best teams against each other in the Championship! TCU vs. Alabama would be a most exciting game. Alabama vs. Texas... well, just wait until my predictions.
-Regarding the BCS bowl selection: Hey douchebags, way to give undefeated TCU a shot against a team they beat last year when they look like they could beat literally any college team this year (as well as the Raiders and Cheifs). You know an organization is fucked up when all it can do to try to save face is run a twitter (@InsidetheBCS, follow it for a laugh) that updates up to three times every two weeks with pro-BCS articles (ones that usually show absolute worst case scenarios of playoffs, none of which compares to a single season's issues with the BCS).
Here is a list of sports that use a play-off to determine their champion:
EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SPORT IN THE WORLD EXCEPT COLLEGE FOOTBALL
Let me cut this short before my blood pressure sets a new world record. The BCS system this year has promised us AT LEAST TWO UNDEFEATED TEAMS AT THE END OF THE SEASON, with the possibility for three if Cincy beats Florida. How is that, in any way, acceptable?
Anyway, here are my predictions for the BCS games in no particular order:
Sugar Bowl: On one hand, a coach headed to Notre Dame. On the other hand, a team that has had its legacy so vastly overinflated you could easily power the entire planet with the air force generated from people talking about Tebow (who, by the way, if he wins the Heisman this weekend has single-handedly made that award pointless). Both teams have alternated between looking really good and looking poor, with the only difference being that the games Cincinnati has looked poor in have been against better competition than the Gators. 31-17 Bearcats, but could easily be Gators
Orange Bowl: First off, raise your hand if you give a shit about this game.
Wait, what are all these crickets doing in here? Shoo, shoo!
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yeah
Rose Bowl: Oregon is a damn good team that likes to score early and often. Ohio State was beaten by the sixth place Pac-10 team at home. 70-14 (the two OSU touchdowns in the last five minutes, with TRESSELBALL demanding no attempts at two point conversions or other such flashy nonsense) Oregon.
Fiesta Bowl: Two undefeated mid-majors. One of whom has looked incredibly impressive against everybody, another who has looked incredibly impressive against bottom 10 teams but has the benefit of being the absolute luckiest fucking team in the world. I predict a final score of 34-21, but I refuse to predict a winner. Also, my sympathies to TCU, who in a year when they have a legitimate claim to playing in the title game, are playing a team they beat last year. Smaller sympathies to BSU, who I was really looking forward to seeing poop themselves against a magical Iowa team (come on, anybody who watched Iowa this season will tell you that them being down by 28 points in the first half is absolutely not a problem).
Humanitarian Bowl: This game should be incredibly high scoring. Like, over 100 total points I think. Anyway, much to the sorrow of the chucklefuck on Caves and Prater who said he would "rather the Taliban win in Afghanistan than Idaho win a bowl game*," infinity-infinity plus 2 Idaho
National Championship: Other than the heart attack that Mack Brown has when Alabama literally kills them, this will be a fairly boring game. I also look forward to him stammering something about beating Oklahoma. 41-3 ROLL TIDE
Anyway, the photo-journal of my trip to the USC-Arizona game should be up next week, along with some "classic" reposts, including the much fabled drinking game. Also, the special "Dumbest Moments of the Season" should run sometime during bowl season, depending on when the new AngryFootballHeadquarters gets internet access. Until then, enjoy the cold as balls weather!
*You know, I hate Boise State. But I certainly don't hate it on the level of wishing that thousands of people would fucking die instead of them winning a game.
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