Here is another awesome update from me, the one and only AngryFootballNerd! Have some fun stuff this week, and even a visit from a “celebrity” (boy am I stretching the definition of the word, as you will see when I reveal who it is). Also, a bit of talk about BSU’s scheduling woes, and of course, some of the usual hatred that you have come to expect. So, without wasting time, let’s get this started.
(PS: While reading, why not grab a delicious Natural Light beer, the official beverage of the AngryFootballNerd, ever since I realized that I hate PBR)
Oregon v. Stanford
Oh come on, who didn’t see this coming? I mean really, of course Oregon was going to drop this game. They just had the biggest win in recent history, anybody with half a brain will tell you that that is a recipe for dropping your next game. Anyway, the Ducks are still in position to win the PAC-10, provided they get past Arizona and Oregon State, which is definitely not a sure bet.
Iowa isn’t Legit
Not even a little bit, as it turns out. Let’s all give a big hand to Northwestern for sparing us the horrors of a Big-10 team in the BCSNC getting devastated.
Notre Dame is terrible
Ok, after the second loss in 3 years to Navy (both of them at home, in sight of Touchdown Jesus), why in the hell is Big Fat Charlie still a head coach? Seriously, Ty Willingham had better records than BFC has had, and they tossed his ass out for unacceptable levels of losing.
Oh, right. Willingham was black. Welp, mystery solved!
Seriously, at this point, looking at their records, and the chain of events surrounding the two coaches…. I don’t like to cry racism every time a minority loses their job, but in this case, I can’t help but wonder.
BSU Can’t Schedule a Game
Alright, I discussed this last week, but I think that some recent things coming to light necessitate me talking about it some more. No, not the fact that the school is selling stock in the Athletic department programs (code for “Give us money for the football team”, seriously, read the article about it).
So, BSU is looking for a game in 2011 to fill in the 13th game given by playing at Hawaii (a stupid rule in general, but that’s an argument for a different day). SO far, they have contacted several major universities, including ones apparently looking for a game. They will play at the other school, and won’t request a home-and-home. Pretty sweet deal, right? So, you have to wonder what all this will cost the other school.
Well, sources on espn.com are currently reporting that the asking price for BSU is around the one million dollar mark. I’m going to pause and let that sink in for a second.
Shitty schools don’t get paid that much to come get trounced (usually, about 500k-800k is the norm). Why in the hell would a program like Florida, or Texas, or Alabama, or USC pay that much money to BSU for a situation that is of almost zero benefit to them?
Let’s break down why, exactly, a major team will more than likely NOT take BSU on their 2011 schedule. Also, this is a good place to stop a differentiate from a major team, and a team that is in a major conference. List of Major Teams: USC, Texas, Oklahoma (yes, I know), Florida, Alabama, LSU, Ohio State, Penn State. These are the teams that everyone is assuming that BSU is talking to. This is different from teams in major conferences, such as Tennessee (whose head coach Lane Kiffin was the inspiration for this segment). Anyway, keep that in mind as you read this next part, explaining why it is a lose/lose situation for a team to schedule them for 2011.
-Beat them? “Great, you beat a team from the WAC.” Now, before you rub together those two brain cells and start writing me an incoherent hate mail, let me truthify you. THIS IS GOING TO BE THE PERCEPTION OF ALMOST 95% OF THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL, NO MATTER HOW HIGHLY RANKED BSU IS. Fair or not (I think it is somewhat fair, but that’s because I think the entire ranking system is a crock of shit), that will be the perception.
-Get beat by them? “You just lost to a mid-major from the WAC.” See above for why this sucks for them.
-Then, there is this issue that Lane Kiffin brought up when he was discussing this (meaning yes, it is almost certain that BSU contacted the Vols for a game). Idaho (the state) is not a hotbed of recruitable football players. Yes, BSU has a few local boys, but the vast majority of talent at both FBS schools in the state comes from out of state. So playing a game against BSU doesn’t really help their recruiting all that much, especially when compared to say, the UCLA-Tenn. series of the past two seasons.
-One big point that I have been a proponent of people knowing but seems to get glossed over: Schedules are usually decided years in advance, ESPECIALLY marquee OOC games. BSU would have much better luck trying for the 2013 extra game than the 2011 one.
Anyway, it’s a mostly boring issue that people here seem to be flipping out about, with full on rhetoric about “they’re afraid of us” and my personal favorite “they don’t want to play on the BLUE” (think about it for a second).
Oh, and the best thing BSU could do to help make this game happen? Ask for less money.
Well ladies and gentlemen, last week I was asleep in bed, when I had a visitor in my dreams. I’ll let you read this 100% accurate transcript of what happened.
AFN: Wha? Where did the girls from House go?
??: AFN, this is your Lord and Master.
AFN: John Elway? You usually don’t appear in my dreams until after the sexy girls. Then we win the Super Bowl and World Series together in the same year.
??: No, it is me. Jesus Christ.
AFN: Oh. Hey, ‘sup?
JC: Nothing much, my son. I wished to discuss your blog with you.
AFN: This… doesn’t end well for me, does it?
JC: Actually, we find it quite humorous. St. Peter loves a good fart joke.
AFN: Oh, sweet.
JC: However, I would like to talk to you about how hard you are on Boise State. Don’t you think that, maybe, they have earned a break from your razor-sharp wit?
AFN: Well, maybe…
JC: I mean, they did win the Fiesta Bowl three seasons ago.
AFN: Yeah, but it’s a “What have you done for me lately” league, and a 1-5 record in bowl games isn’t the most impressive, even if the win was a BCS bowl.
JC: But they were the only undefeated team at the end of that season!
AFN: But at what point does going undefeated through a bad conference become so impressive? If USC, or Texas, or any number of current BCS schools plays that schedule, they go undefeated year in year out.
JC: Be that as it may, in my mind they were the national champs that year.
(Note: At this point, I awoke)
AFN:……. Wait a second…. National championship for BSU…… Talk about undefeated in the WAC being somehow impressive…. YOU AREN’T JESUS CHRIST AT ALL! You’re former Boise State quarterback Jared Zabransky, aren’t you?!
(Imagine my surprise to see him standing beside my bed)
FBSUQBJZ:…. Yeah, it’s me.
AFN: Hey, how’s that top five quarterback draft pick treating you?
FBSUQBJZ: Fuck you…. You have twenty bucks I can borrow?
AFN:…. Get out of my house.
And there you have our special “celebrity” “guest.” But don’t worry AngryFootballFollowers, I’ve since changed the locks on the doors to make sure that this never happens again.
(Please note: If the bit previous to this disclaimer offended you, I’m sorry. SORRY YOU’RE SUCH A WEENIE!)
Angry’s Heisman Ballot, this week
1. Case Keenum, Houston QB
2. A Boy named Suh, Nebraska
3. NOBODY ELSE IN THE COUNTRY IS EVEN CLOSE TO DESERVING IT THIS YEAR, GOD HELP YOU ALL IF IT GOES TO TIM TEBOW
Welp, that’s all for this week. Be back next week, when I talk about the BSU-Idaho game, and no matter what happens, turn it into something that will make some of you happy, and others of you merely smugly condescending (until you realize the joke is on you).